


All The Time In The World

by Wealthywetsunny



Series: The End Of The World [1]
Category: FarCry 5
Genre: Bunker Ending, F/M, Helpless, Pain, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Seed brothers are alive though, tied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:00:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 45,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wealthywetsunny/pseuds/Wealthywetsunny
Summary: Once the bombs drop and the world actually turns to dust, Rook wakes up trapped in Dutch’s bunker with the infamous Seeds.





	1. Chapter 1

A tremor shook her body, which now felt so fragile. Her eyes screwed shut then open. Shut then open. She repeated this. Wanting so bad to believe this wasn’t real. Some fucked up nightmare that she’d wake from soon. Just in a few moments she’d feel Boomer at her feet and the annoying chirps of birds that drove her crazy. 

Yet when she opened her eyes up again she still was sat gazing at the heavy duty handcuffs on her wrists. 

Just a dream. A terrible dream. 

Her fists clenched, yanking at the cuffs. Feeling the pain radiate on her sore skin. How badly she wanted to wake up. But when she looked back up she saw the soft smile of Joseph. The Father. 

The deputy let out a soft moan of dispair. The sight of his bright eyes that weren’t hidden behind those yellow shades made this finally click. She wasn’t getting out of this. No way. That felt like a physical stab in her gut. Made her release another noise of mental anguish. The tears came when she caught sight of John in the other room rearranging things. 

The tears felt too hot on her cheeks despite just being outside in the wake of bombs and fire. 

Rook pulled again at the cuffs. They definitely weren’t the kind she’d use. Military maybe? That’d have to be Jacob’s handiwork. Her mind grasped at anything logical to keep her from going crazy. Not like that worked. Still she squirmed away from the metal bed she was restrained to. She sobbed louder. 

Joseph kneeled down in front of her. His gaze fruitlessly tried to catch hers. His hands moved to hold her shoulders, to at least lessen the damage she was causing. 

He didn’t even get his hands on her before her head jerked upwards, panting from exertion. “No—no, no. Don’t! Stay away from me you crazed cultist fucker!” 

“Please My Child. You’re lost Little Lamb, let me help you.” The deputy flailed her legs. “Don’t pull that crap on me Joseph. I’m not apart of whatever the fuck you’ve got going on. I’m not one of your followers. I’m not your child!”

John strolled in at some point to watch the scene being played before him. He still held that bravado he had back in his valley. So damn smug to see his brother’s vision come true. “C’mon dep-yoo-tee, show some respect. We saved your ass.” 

Oh god. No. She slipped her eyes shut. Her anxiety was building. Piling up like a large snowball rolling down a hill. Gaining momentum with each second down here. Rook could feel the panic attack coming. Her chest heaved, head tipped back. She was too far gone to fight Joseph’s hands cupping her face. Pulling her head down to force her to look at him. Her vision dialed down to a pinpoint. Only Joseph. Only him. 

Only you. 

She looked quickly around the bunker for Jacob. Couldn’t let him torture her again. Under her breath she mumbled softly to herself. “Please don’t let him. Please. I can’t do it. I’m not—I’m not ready.” 

“Shush my Child. Shhh. This is the will of God. Together my family and I will walk out to the new world come seven years time. No reason to be afraid, it’s all as He planned.” 

Rapidly the deputy shook her head. “Toss me outside. I’m not apart of your family. I tried to kill you for fucks sake. I tried to murder your siblings. I killed Faith. You should just kill me. Leave me outside to burn.” 

Joseph shook his head. Sadness shown in his face. “Rest.” It came out as a soft murmur. A kiss was placed on her head before he stood and walked out, motioning for John to follow. 

With both the boys gone she tried to rearrange her thoughts. Her face slammed against the metal bed. She wondered if it’d be possible to kill herself by banging her head repeatedly until she just bled internally. 

The clicking of boot clad feet snapped her to attention. Jacob reclined in a nearby chair. His eyes roamed before landing on her. “Look pup. We’re gonna be hear awhile yeah? So let me ask you a question to make our lives easier.”

Her body immediately tensed. Remembering what she went through in his ‘care.’ At this point she realized she was totally at his mercy. Her mind had snapped, her body was completely fucked. The only signal she gave as to hearing him was a cock of her eyebrow. 

Jacob leaned forward. Elbows on his knees. “Your name pup.” He pointed a red handled knife in her direction. “Let’s start over and get your name.”

Her breath hitched. A small price to pay to start over. In order to make these seven years tolerable Jacob wanted to make amends. And what? Act like nothing happened over the past few months. She was perfectly fine with that. All she needed to give him to make those months a farse was her name. 

“Ryleigh.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ryleigh was beginning to go crazy. Joseph walked around the bunker humming some hymn over and over again. It didn’t help that John and Jacob could fall into the same musical habits. Jacob loving his song used for classical conditioning, Only You and John picking out strange songs that weren’t even religious. 

The singing, she could tune that out. Sometimes she enjoyed it when the silence became too stifling. Though she couldn’t stand Joseph’s ramblings. A week into their new bunker life and Jacob had got the radio into working order. The signal stretched across each of their valleys. They could reach out to any of the herald’s bunkers. And what a joyous day it had been for the brothers when they received a transmission from the Henbane. 

Their followers were there. Telling them how they talked to people in Holland Valley and the Whitetail Mountains. 

This sparked a new vigor in Joseph. He preached daily to his people. That was more difficult to ignore. Especially when on some days they put the radio in where Ryleigh was handcuffed so she was forced to listen. Joseph was so sure she would one day join them. See the light she supposed. 

Not like they were making much progress. They did have patience though. Each day Joseph would sit with her, holding her hands or stroking her face and would say encouraging words. Begging her to speak. To meet his gaze at least. He would always end these moments with a press of their foreheads and a kiss on her wrist. 

Jacob would sit next to her and complete whatever menial task he had given himself that day. He would talk to her like he was consulting her. Asking for advice. She felt like a business partner. Even if she never gave her two cents. He’d get up and give her a passing pat on her head. 

John was the worse out of the three. He had a temper. He took personal offense to her not speaking to him. Though she gave the same treatment to his brothers. He’d sit and speak of his sins. Of how he was sorry. “Is that why you aren’t talking?” He’d tip his head to the side like a confused dog. “You’re mad at me?” One day she swore he almost cried. 

Two weeks in and she felt aches run throughout her sore body. She stretched on the cold floor, listening to the snores of the brothers around her. They seemed at peace. Unaware to her suffering. Small whines escaped her. Ryleigh let herself cry in moments like these. Where no one could comfort her or chastise her about her weakness. 

Because despite what Joseph said about God’s plan, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t meant to be there with them. 

“Hey pup.” 

Her head snapped up. She squinted to see Jacob leaning in the doorway. Bags heavy under his eyes. “You couldn’t sleep either huh?” His socked feet crossed over to her. She barely registered how he unlocked the handcuffs from around her wrists.

“We don’t need those right?” His thumb moved across her cheek bone. “No..you’ve lost all that fight. That wrath. You’re lost just as Joseph says.” Jacob moved to pick her up. She weighed almost nothing. The hunger strike she went on lasted three days before they forced food down her throat. 

Jacob moved down the hall, two doors on the right was where he slept. He placed her on the sheets. Immediately she stretched her body. A groan slipping past her lips. When her eyes refocused she saw Jacob handing her loose clothing to sleep in. 

All modesty aside, she stripped right then. Still sitting on the bed, too scared to test her legs. A shirt that was only a size too big and sweatpants. A sigh of content escaped her before she regarded the broken man before her. 

Ryleigh wanted to ask questions. It was hard to ignore his cries of torment for the past few days. She wanted to comfort him and ask what he was dreaming about this night. 

Instead she reached out to take his hands. With a gentle tug he was falling back into bed with her. He held her tight as they fell asleep. He hushed her when she squirmed, not used to the feeling of being safe. 

When morning came Ryleigh didn’t feel like crap as she normally did. She could almost fool herself into thinking that she could walk out of this room, take a shower, put on a fresh set of clothes and go kick some peggie asses. Yet Jacob’s body curled around her told her how her life had ended.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryleigh struggled out of Jacob’s grasp. Her mind felt more at ease. She risked a glance back at his sleeping form. She wanted to truely believe that he held her close that night and pulled her off the floor because he cared. But staring at him now, with her anxiety and fatigue gone, she realized that at that moment he needed her to calm himself. She was like a damn comfort blanket to him. 

Angry and feeling a little obsolete in this family structure of their’s, she stormed out. The tears were gonna come. She could feel that painful pressure behind her eyes. Lord knows she’s cried enough tears for all the people in this bunker two times over. Yet she still wasn’t done grieving. She’s heard of the stages of grief. Knew them intimately by now. 

Denial  
Anger  
Bargaining  
Depression  
Acceptance 

The denial came fast. Maybe the first 24 hours. At this point anger and depression had combined into one. She went through vicious mood swings. Lashing out at the smallest things. And just a few moments later getting ready to sob. Ryleigh wasn’t too sure how long this whole grief situation was supposed to last. But she was done. Done with the concerned looks Joseph shot her way along with offers to talk. Almost as if he was trying to be her therapist. 

Walking fast and with purpose, her gaze flickered around the bunker. No one was awake by the looks of it. Most of the time she’d find the brothers making too much noise for her liking. Perfect. 

She turned a corner only to be met by a large solid wall. Her forearms were grabbed and she was spun to the wall. “John?” She tipped her head to the side. Stomping down on her fear for the man, she met his gaze. She was sure he could see how scared she was. He continued to look at her, leaning in close. He was properly dressed, as if he’d been up for a while. 

John tossed a tight smile her way. “You scared me, that’s all.” He spun on his heel, not quick enough for her to not notice the heat that colored his cheeks. Too surprised to say much, she continued walking into the other room. Joseph sat hunched over. Eyes closed. Shirtless as per his usual. The muscles that rippled below his skin were taut. For once his hair wasn’t put up in a bun. He looked disheveled. Too broken for a man that acted as a leader and a goddamn prophet. 

Ryleigh didn’t want to interrupt whatever moment he was having. She was tempted to turn away. Go figure out why John was acting so strange or crawl back into the safe confines of Jacob’s arms. The sound he just made was akin to that of a trapped animal crying out for help, it gave her pause. She wasn’t heartless. Those noises pulled something from the recesses of her mind. A part of her that she thought had burned up along with the rest of her friends. The need to care for Joseph was strong.

Carefully she padded over. A warm hand was placed on the man’s shoulder. “Joseph.” His eyes fluttered up to meet hers. The smile he gave was sad. There was sorrow like she never saw it. The anger she felt almost came spilling over. How dare he be upset. She lost everything. And him? He had his family—minus the sister who wasn’t even biologically his, she could be replaced easily. He had his followers still. And most importantly he had his damn pride. Bragging rights too. He was right. She wasn’t. None of her friends were.

Ryleigh let out a sigh, with a single hand she cupped his face and examined the damage done. The cuts and scrapes that covered him. She ran her thumb over an injury on his nose. He sucked in a breath but gave no indication to make her stop. 

“Here. Let me help.” She pulled him by his hand. Joseph went willingly. Head tipped down. 

She pushed him down on the closed toilet seat. Ryleigh turned to rummage through the cabinets. Dutch was well stocked. 

No.

She pushed away that thought. She didn’t have time to break down crying right now. Not when she’s trying to help Joseph. He was the one in need of comforting this time, not her. 

Ryleigh got on the floor between Joseph’s legs in order to get closer. She scrubbed softly at his cuts with hydrogen peroxide. Joseph winced and let out a light cry. She paused. An eyebrow raised. “Thank you Child.” His shaking fingers pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

She continued her medical care. Going slower whenever she noticed how he flinched under her already feather light touch. She pulled long strips of gauze to act as bandages and dabbed at his face with antibacterial cream. Once done, she gathered the trash and tossed it in the nearby bin. Joseph leaned forward. Head tilted between his legs. Ryleigh leaned against the doorway examining him.

“Joseph?”  
“Hmm?”  
“The bunker life not all you thought it’d be?” At that he let out a small laugh. A smile tugged at his lips. Seeing him smile instead of scowl because of her did funny things to her heart. “My Child, the lord protected my family. They are here with me. You are here to help with the project as He intended. This is just what I figured it’d be.” She contemplated his words. And for once he didn’t really seem like some lunatic who had crazy visions. Maybe that was due to the fact that the world had literally ended. 

“Then what’s got you so...disturbed.” He smiled. “I’m afraid.” That gave her pause. A million years ago she would have laughed in his face. Mocked him. Maybe send out some radio broadcast telling all his followers that The Great Father was afraid. Unsure even. Not that he ever claimed to be above humanly nature. But it would still be a nice jab.

Ryleigh closed the distance between them. She held his hands and sighed. “We may be afraid for different reasons Joseph..but I’m feeling the same way. I’m so scared that some days I can’t think straight. My stomach gets tight and I can’t eat, that’s how scared I get.” She took a deep breath to center herself. “I’m scared that you and your brothers won’t accept me. I’m scared on if we will have enough food to last seven years. And I’m scared of what will happen once we get outta here.”

When she looked up Joseph was staring at her with his lips parted open. “What scares you Joseph?” She laughed. “Confess to me.”

Joseph smiled. He leaned closer to her. Their noses bumped. “I’m scared for you Ryleigh. I know God put you here with my brothers and I for a reason. Yet I can’t figure out why. I first believed you were a snake in our garden. Meant to destroy. Wrath.” At the mention of her time with John, he pulled at her oversized top to reveal the crooked words. 

“I’m afraid that at the end of seven years you won’t come around and see how good we can be to you. I’ve got no problem showing my affection for you Child. Jacob finds it hard to express gratitude and love. Then John...John’s had a rough life. Not knowing what love is has harmed his mindset. He cares too. I’ll take these seven years to try my hardest to convince you to see our side of things. And if you don’t... well then I think you might still be that snake in our garden. Maybe you’ve been placed here to undermine what we’ve worked so hard to achieve. A test for us.” He stood abruptly. Her head snapped up to stare at him. 

“If that’s the case sweetheart, then I’m scared of what you’ll force my hands to do.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attempted suicide warning

Ryleigh sat on the floor of the bathroom in stunned silence. She stayed seated even as she heard the boys wake up and prepare for their sermons. Joseph’s voice still held strong despite the encounter they went through. He just admitted that he might have to murder her if she didn’t join Eden’s Gate, and it didn’t phase him. She might’ve been a cop at one point plus the leader of the resistance for Hope County...but the thought of killing someone just because their beliefs differed from yours...it made her sick. She never threatened to destroy Eden’s Gate now that they were down here. No reason to considering they would be the only ones surviving after 7 years. 

She got on her feet and leaned in the doorway for several moments. From where she was standing she caught John’s eye. He was sitting on a couch talking to Jacob in a hushed tone to avoid interrupting Joseph. The precaution he took for being too loud was familial and so damn sweet. Something that she’d never have again. 

The thought made her heart jump up to her throat. She retreated back into the bathroom, missing the smile John tried to give her. Ryleigh ignored the fact that she didn’t bring any clothes with her, at least the towels stored under the cabinet were plentiful. 

With a calm hand she reached into the wall cabinet that hung above the sink. She pulled out a medic kit, inside held exactly what she needed. In her grasp she closed her fist around a glass bottle of antiseptic until it shattered. It didn’t make any noise that would be heard from behind the door. She didn’t want them to get suspicious about why she was going to take so long, so she quickly turned on the shower. 

She sat down on the toilet bowl where she treated Joseph before he practically spit in her face. The last remaining mental strength she had was used on leveling the largest glass shard to her wrist. She split the skin vertically until she reached the crease of her arm. She repeated the motion on her opposing arm. For a few seconds she just stared. Her mind was blank. Ryleigh didn’t feel a thing. Especially not guilt.

A sigh left her when she leaned back. She needed to finish this. 

Ryleigh stood and undressed, not caring if blood ruined her shirt. She put herself under the spray of the water. It was freezing but didn’t do much to change her state of mind. She distantly recalled times where she was tired and had to head to work early, her first call would be a cold, refreshing shower. Funny how that should be what comforted her when she died. Then again, if she really was such a destructive, wrathful being then maybe she didn’t deserve comfort. 

She leaned with her bloodied forearms on the wall. The glass was back in her grip, pushed on the soft skin of her neck. She allowed one last sob to come out of her mouth. And hell, what a mistake that was. Because once the tears started it was too difficult to get them to stop. She collapsed to the ground. Knees pulled up to her chest with her head downward. The glass was loose on the floor, swirling down the drain. 

“Ryleigh?” A series of bangs were at the door. Her teeth clenched but she made no move to stand. She felt lightheaded and wasn’t sure if she’d even make it. “Ryleigh? C’mon it’s John, I gotta go!” Under normal circumstances she would have laughed at the childish way he requested to use the bathroom. Now she was just sick of hearing his voice. For one second she hoped he cared. Hoped he was concerned enough to knock, see what was taking so long. Maybe he would hold her close and tell her that even if Joseph meant to kill her one day that he would stand between that. She wasn’t sure where she concocted those fantasies from, they never were on the best terms.

By now he was banging harder, more persistant. She heard Jacob yell for him to shut up then Joseph’s apology to those listening on the radio. “Ryleigh I swear I won’t look, I’ll be quick.” Then softer he called out, “Joe you sure she’s in there?” Ryleigh didn’t hear whatever reply was given back, but John ran out of patience and pushed the door open. It clicked softly behind him. 

He took two steps in and couldn’t help but notice the smell of antibiotics, then the blood on the floor. He was rushing to her side, cupping her face with one hand. “What happened? What’s wro-“ the words died on his lips when he caught sight of her bloodied arms. “Oh. Oh Babygirl. No.” John pulled at her body, not caring about decency or perhaps the lecture he might get from Joseph about preserving her modesty. 

John pushed her against the wall and moved frantically to grab the same assortment of items she used earlier for Joseph. She hadn’t put them away yet and he just took whatever he could find. “Shit. Those might need stitches, fuck. I’ll get Jacob.” With a surprising amount of strength she pulled him close so their noses touched. “Don’t.” He stared into her eyes like she lost her mind. John shook his head, looking as she would’ve imagined him, like a young child who suddenly had the role reversal from youngest child who received all the care, to the caretaker. It occurred to her that maybe he wasn’t used to caring for others. Not to mention that Jacob was a military man. Probably delt with his fair share of injuries. 

With those thoughts swirling in her head, her grasp loosened on John. That gave him the time to pull away and race into the next room. Ryleigh focused on listening to John’s panicked voice. It sounded garbled and wrong. She couldn’t hear properly. 

As she began to slide down the wall, her knees no longer supporting her, Jacob burst in. Eyebrows furrowed down. Not having the same level of frantic energy John did. Once he saw her, his hands shot out to carry her to the main room. 

He barked out commands like a pro. Ordering John around. Who scrambled to get him towels, bandages and suturing supplies. Sometime later he began to yell Joseph’s name. She vaguely remembered that he had a sermon. So either she was that bad off or he had finished. 

Her head was supported by something warm, her hair was stroked back from her face. Jacob towered over her and flashed a light in her eyes a couple times. He hoped that would wake her up. Do something to rouse her, but she could feel sleep pulling at her. 

She succumbed to her urges to close her eyes and tuned out the desperate calls of the men above her.


	5. Chapter 5

She was getting to know this bed very well. 

Waking up tied to it was starting to get old real fast too. Her hands were coiled in rope to the right bed post, she was laying on her stomach. Luckily she had full control of her legs. Which some how managed to come halfway off the bed. Ryleigh was tempted to call out for help, seeing as her back and neck were starting to get sore. 

She clenched her fists and felt jolts of pain travel down her arm. Her arms were bandaged. On her left arm she could start to see the end of some stitches. Hell she didn’t actually think any of them had experience in that field. The stitches would claim otherwise though, considering that they didn’t look like crap. 

Ryleigh twisted her body, tossing the one leg onto the bed that had slipped off. 

Anxiety took hold of her again. It was like the first night all over again. Her breathing sped up to take in more air, but she couldn’t get it. Her chest was tight. It was getting painful, which made her panic more. Ryleigh bit down on her pride, something she believes they would praise her for, and yelled out. Not any name, just a scream. She filled the scream with pent up anger and rage. She winced as she heard her yell reverberate throughout the bunker. Fuck. 

Joseph stood in the entrance, just staring. His hair was disheveled. Looking the same as that night when she treated his wounds. He crossed the distance between them in slow measured paces. Joseph reached out to pull up a chair next to her. They sat in tense silence, Joseph ran his eyes over her face. Taking in each expression she made. He reached out to push hair away from her face, which was covered in sweat.

She wasn’t sure if sorry would be acceptable in this situation. Ryleigh wished that it was John sitting by her side. He would make his feelings clear. Probably yell at her too. She could handle being screamed at right now. This forgiveness that Joseph always offered was wearing on her. 

Jacob peered in the room. He saw her pleading face and strolled in. He sat by the edge of the bed. His hand was placed on her ankle and he rubbed the skin there. “How’re you holding up?” Ryleigh felt her throat tighten before shaking her head. No seemed liked an alright answer. “Here Joe, I’ve got this.” That snapped Joseph out of it. He focused on his older brother, so used to caring for people when they were down. Joseph still remembers how he would hold John after a beating by their parents, Jacob was a good man, and he still had some of that in him. 

Once Joseph left, Jacob moved to sit higher up next to her. This time around he got up and close in her personal space, a trait she thought only Joseph had. He leaned down on his elbow so their faces were almost touching. “Joseph told me about the conversation you two had in the bathroom. About how you were feeling. You’re not in the best mental state, and we’re sorry that we didn’t catch that.” He sucked in a breath. “What happened pup?” 

Ryleigh wanted to close her eyes. She wouldn’t cry. Wouldn’t let Jacob start in on her about being weak. “Jacob, I don’t...I’m not apart of this family. Never will be. If you had any sense you’d let me die. Put a bullet in me, throw me outside the bunker. For fuck’s sake, get rid of me before I destroy the project.” Jacob stared at her. His thumb had found its way to her cheek. Stroking up to her temple then down to her chin. “You’re here Ryleigh, still walking down here because we want you to. Joseph claims it’s God, and John will believe whatever the hell Joseph says, but they care. Christ you should hear the way John speaks of you. Like you’re close to God himself.” 

“And you Jacob? I’m weak. My mind’s weak.”  
“Hey. You survived the collapse. That makes you strong. You’ve gained my respect.” He smiled at her, trying to convey how much he cared. He prayed that she would understand. Ryleigh let out a sigh that ghosted across the bridge of his nose. 

“Can I ask a favor?” Jacob nodded immediately. The devotion she saw in that moment made her heart warm. “Show me you care Jacob. If you really care then—“ Jacob pushed a finger to her lips. He leaned forward, not much distance between them anyway. Gently, he kissed her. Cupping her face, continuing to stroke her jaw. 

Ryleigh made a small noise in the back of her throat and leaned forward to deepen the kiss. To her surprise he didn’t pull away, not until they were both out of breath and panting in their shared space. “Jacob..my God.” He chuckled softly. Jacob gave her that melting smile, “Was the kiss that good, that holy?” She fought the urge to push him away from that comment. 

Her head bumped against his. “Stay here, please?” He cupped her cheek and brought her head to rest over his heart. An unspoken yes. It was all she needed to close her eyes and rest.


	6. Chapter 6

They doted on her after that. There every step of the way. It was a slow process. She feared these men, yet here they were. Literally fluffing her pillow or warming her soup if she didn’t eat quick enough. Jacob would even stop twice a day to give her anything to stave off infection for her cuts. John was there by far the most. That’s when she finally realized that Jacob wasn’t lying to her. He couldn’t have been that good of an actor. The affection in his eyes was so real it hurt. 

The days that followed, John came in with a pinched expression. Everything about him was tense. “Do you know how long we’ve been down here Ryleigh?” She frowned but shook her head.  
She didn’t focus on the time. All days would meld into one due to the lack of light. Not that there weren’t calendars scattered around, almost one in every room. 

“Two months. Been down here two months and I’m hating every second of it. It’s driving me insane.” He ran a hand through his beard. “At first I thought the whole ‘not knowing if anyone else is alive’ thing, was why I was so upset, jumpy y'know? But everyone is thriving.” John moved fast, from where he was leaning on a table, his coat fanning out behind him, to sit on the bed next to her. He gripped onto her hands, which had been unbound for a couple days. 

“But my real problem is not having a job. If it’s one thing I really hate baby girl, it’s not being proactive. Back up there I had a role in the project. I was there for it to be essential for people to walk into Eden’s Gate.” She simply stared at him, John had a point to this rant. He always did. And she had a feeling she would be dragged into it. 

John leaned in close to her, holding onto one of her shoulders. He smiled and glanced behind him before speaking, “We don’t know what we’re dealing with above ground. And Joseph just got transmission from somebody who need our help. That’s what we do. Help people. Apparently they’re running low on...basically everything.” He leaned back to laugh. “They said they definitely need guns too, said there were wolves. Those fucking Judges and Angles that were all blissed out survived. Don’t ask how, that’s not my area of expertise, always hated bliss.” 

She sat up, reaching out to touch John’s arm. “And what will we do about that John?” His face brightened at not being shut down straight away. He clapped his hands together triumphantly. 

“You and sweetheart, you and me are gonna take a trip. Tonight. I’ve already packed. You’re strong and my brothers wouldn’t approve of this.” He stood suddenly, the chair shook forcefully and almost toppled over. He began to pace the floor, staying out of the line of sight of the open doorway. 

She hesitated with her answer. It was dangerous and stupid. If Jacob or Joseph caught them, then they’d be in serious trouble. But she knew John. And John’s going to do this whether she was in or not. Ryleigh wouldn’t be able to handle not knowing if he made it or died along the way. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how she’d get interrogated by his brothers. Knowing Jacob’s military and torture background then he probably knows how to make someone talk. 

Shit.

“Okay John. I’m with you.” He rushed over, hands stroking her face. He placed a kiss to her cheek, chaste. When he pulled away he was a shade of pink. 

“Be ready at midnight. They’ll be asleep, any later and I’m afraid Jacob might wake up from a night terror.” 

Ryleigh collapsed on the cushions as he walked out of the room, whistling. How could she feel so guilty when she hadn’t crossed anyone yet?


	7. Chapter 7

9:47

The clock gazed back at her with its bright green digital blocked letters. Each time it flipped to a new number she felt her pulse quicken. A new shot of adrenaline added to her blood. 

She must’ve been sitting and staring for too long. Long enough for Jacob to be concerned. He pulled her by the hand and led her into his room. He placed a mug of something hot in her grasp, “How’re you doing?” She smiled. Tight lipped, eyes downcast. She was practically killing his brother. Joseph’s prophecy might be right. It wouldn’t be the first time, Ryleigh hated to admit it. She was here to destroy them.

“C’mere.” Jacob raised his hand and gestured for her to come closer. She placed the cup of tea on a side table and approached his form, which sat back on a chair. When she was only a few feet away he reached out and wrapped his hands around her waist. His eyes wandered up her torso before settling on her face. With a single motion he tugged her down in his lap. 

The yelp she let out over the sudden change in position made him chuckle, eyes crinkling, actually looking happy for once. 

He pushed his nose into the pulse of her neck. “What’s got you so distracted tonight? I’ve seen you and John side eyeing each other for the past hour. What’s your dirty little secret?” She swallowed thickly. He’d kill her. If he knew, he’d squeeze her neck and kill her. But seeing that shit eating grin on his face made her realize where his mind was. Yea..she could play off that. 

Ryleigh giggled. Fucking giggled. God she was like a teenager again. It seemed to do the trick though. He grabbed her chin, pulling it so she could look at him in the eyes. The close proximity made her blush. “Yeah. You’ve got it bad for him don’t you?” 

Ah. 

He thought that blush was from her thinking about what her and John were supposedly up to. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”  
“Jacob!” She slapped his shoulder. As she feigned surprise and anger, she thought this might work in her favor. Give him something to tease his brother about. It’ll help waste time and make him let his guard down. 

He waited, patient as ever. Not a care in the world. The only sign of him still wanting a response being the tightened hands on her hips. 

Her arms went around his shoulders. “Tell you a little secret Jake...” his eyebrows rose at the nickname, lips twitching. “Tonight John and I had something planned. I’ll give you that. You’re an observant man. That’s why I need you to do me a solid and stay in your room. You don’t wanna catch us, trust me.” Jacob full on laughed at that. 

“Ryleigh, what has John been telling you? The way you speak of it is like some devine shit. Is he bribing you to join Eden’s Gate?” The insinuation made her cheeks burn again. Did he think that poorly of her? Or maybe he just thought his brother was quite the charmer. “Besides pup, I thought we had something there.” She froze. Then visibly winced. They kissed. When she was at her lowest and asked him to help her, to stay next to her while she slept. And he did. He knew of mental pain so he helped her. She felt like shit. Was she leading him on? Offering up a kiss then basically telling him she was off to fuck John in a few hours.

Ryleigh still was unsure about his whole childhood deal. But she imagined that the amount of love in his life was low. She would be just another person who let him down in the end. Not that he would show it. His face remained stoic. 

In a daring moment she leaned forward to kiss him. And he let her. A sigh escaping his lips when she pulled away. “You’re just teasing now. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you with John. Don’t waste that with me. Just..look..he’s my brother and you’re his. I respect people’s boundaries.” She opened her mouth to speak, she was making things worse. “If you’re still unsure then I’d let John know. Don’t hurt him.” 

Jacob relinquished his hold on her. Hands instead moving to grab at some papers behind him. He was moving onto a different task. Done with her antics. 

10:03

 

“You should go to bed Jacob.” He shook his head. Grunted lightly. “I’ll stay.” That statement made him look up. “I can’t understand what you’re going through but I’ll at least stay.” This time Jacob grimaced and nudged her off his lap. Without checking if she left, he began to undress, then pulled himself under the covers, facing away from her. A silent move that put so much distance between them. 

She didn’t leave. Kept her eye on the clock outside the door and sat on the floor beside the bed. Maybe his pride made him not want to admit to this weakness he had. It must be rough for him. He was so strong. Just look at what he accomplished, look at the people he defeated. He went to war. In every aspect he screamed strength. She wondered how it would feel to be so strong, only to have demons chase you every night. Waking up in a sheen of sweat feeling beaten and not at all like the soldier that walked around in the daytime. 

Ryleigh’s throat closed up and suddenly she felt like she was intruding. If he woke up she didn’t know what wrath she’d face. Or if he’d want the company, would he let her play caretaker this time around? It made her heart ache to walk out of his room only to be met by John, motioning to follow him. Time to go.


	8. Chapter 8

John waited, surprisingly patient at the bunker entrance. He had the barest of smiles. 

Meanwhile she was busy double checking the shit he packed that morning. He was good at prepping, so far she couldn’t see anything he’d forgotten.

An assortment of food, and she couldn’t help but notice how he only picked the food that they complained about, agreeing to save it for the end when they began to get desperate. It was a small thing to do, but it showed that he was a sweet man to his brothers. He didn’t want to steal all their supplies either. But that didn’t stop him from loading up on medical packs, blankets, grappling hooks, and of course, guns. The hard part being that they had to double everything. They needed a balance of stuff, things they could use getting to the people who asked for help plus things to hand off to them once they made it there. She checked it just to be sure, but it was actually well thought out. 

Ryleigh stood up and shouldered one of the bags, handing the other off to John. She lifted up her shirt to put the gun in the waistline of her jeans. John sported a rifle, a strange sight being that each time she ran into him before he’d never been the one fighting. Always fleeing the scene to let his men handle her. Did she ever even see him hold a gun before? For all she knew he could be a bitch about this whole thing and leave her for dead when the shit hit the fan. 

It was too late to question him, John was reaching for her hand to pull her up the steps. Before he opened the bunker doors he tossed her another charming smile, “Let’s hope radiation isn’t really a thing we’ve got to deal with.” He laughed at her shocked expression. She wanted to protest. Maybe Jacob knew a way to fashion a gas mask out of used materials. 

When he pushed the doors open she took a step behind him. She held onto his bicep, peering over his shoulder. One of his arms came to stretch behind him to touch her hip, a small act of comfort that relaxed her. 

The world outside was...wrong. Sure it was Hope County. There was that vague resemblance of Dutch’s Island she saw so long ago. But the trees were blackened shards pointed up at the heavens. Some were just mangled stumps that looked like rocks. The ground where grass should have been was a mixture of black and red. Gravel scattered the floor. Yet the sky was serenely blue. It was a strange contradiction. A light ocean color with no clouds, combined with the destroyed ground that they were walking on.

“John?” 

He didn’t respond. Too focused on the scenery in front of him. She could see his harsh swallow, his adam’s apple bobbing. With a light shove she urged him further up. His hands tightened on the grip of his gun before he walked up the last few steps. 

She went to the right of him and surveyed the area. She sweeped her gun left to right. No Judges. No Angels. Then again, this wasn’t their territory. 

“Which way John?” She watched the conflict in his eyes for a moment. He was scared, but trying so hard to be brave for her. It would have been cute, endearing even, if they didn’t have the risk of dying added on. After a brief stint of silence he spoke up,“This way, they’re in Jacob’s region. Right on the outskirts. They’ve got a bunker of their own, near the shoreline. We’ll have to go into The Henbane, then Joseph’s Island and from there is a bridge that’ll get us to the Whitetail Mountains.” 

John set a fast pace. Rifle clutched to his chest. He was almost running with the strides he was taking. She figured that by nightfall they’d be in Faith’s region. Of course that was hoping they didn’t run into anything. 

Ryleigh didn’t voice her concern but she didn’t think they’d make it out of this unscathed. Not when there were so many variables.

———————  
Joseph walked out of the shower, towel ruffling his hair to dry it. He paused in the open doorway, overlooking the room where they had the radio set up. He still had ample time before he had to speak to the people of Eden’s Gate. Right now he was more concerned with getting breakfast ready for his family. 

He glanced at Jacob, who lounged on the couch, hands pulling at loose threads. Jacob kept glancing back to where John’s room was. Thinking how him and Ryleigh would probably sleep later than usual. Curled up around each other. 

It’d make for an interesting morning that’s for sure. It would be a crime to let this thing go unspoken. He could already hear John’s annoyed cries and see the blush on Ryleigh’s cheeks. God he loved them both. 

“Jacob, can you wake John and Ryleigh? Strange they aren’t up by now.” He just nodded. Deciding not to share the small tidbit of what they were up to last night. Joseph would no doubt have a fit. 

“Johnny?” Jacob rounded the corner and knocked loudly on the wall. He waited in the hallway, not yet looking into the room. Arms crossed over his chest. His foot tapped the floor. He heard no creaks of the bed, no hushed voices. Jacob moved to look in the room. 

The covers were folded neatly. John’s room was perfectly clean, immaculate. No sign of either of them. Jacob moved down the hall, checking in each room as he passed the open doors. Still nothing. For the first time since they got down there, Jacob felt scared. Especially for Joseph. He didn’t want to walk back in there and tell him that John and Ryleigh had vanished. 

Over the past few days Joseph finally started to believe that maybe Ryleigh was coming around. That she was going to join them and be saved. Then this shit had to come up. He didn’t want to be responsible for sending Joseph over the edge. 

With a blank face, Jacob walked back to see Joseph setting up plates, spooning breakfast out for all of them. He stood still, watching Joseph's calm face and relaxed body movements. When Joseph noticed him standing there he seemed to read him despite Jacob’s best efforts to show no emotion. “What’s wrong Jacob?” Jacob laughed lightly, voice cracking and tipped his head down. He ran his fingers through his shortly cropped hair. 

Joseph stood in front of him. Hands on his shoulders. Joseph’s eyes darkened for a moment. “What did you see Brother?” Jacob made eye contact, and shook his head. He jerked his thumb behind him. A ‘go see for yourself’ motion. 

With confident strides Joseph made his way to the back. They both knew how difficult it was for John to not give in to past temptation. So Joseph moved with purpose, he expected to find them tangled up in sin. But he found an empty bed instead. 

Something foul stirred up in the pit of Joseph’s stomach. A sour taste hit the back of his throat. He felt his world collapse around him. His darling baby brother was gone. Off with a destroyer of the project. As much as Joseph didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t sure who was at fault. They were gone. Someone was probably dead. He knew John got angry sometimes and went too far. He knew how John could damage people. So should he pray for John’s steadfast return or Ryleighs protection? Who was to blame?

It hurt to walk back to Jacob. He sat on the couch, head tipped to the sky. Upon hearing Joseph’s footsteps, he stood up. 

“I’ve looked everywhere Joe, they’re gone. We’re missing supplies. They just...abandoned us.” Joseph cupped Jacob’s cheeks, brought their foreheads together. “There’s no need to worry about John. I’ve seen this coming for so long now. John’s lack of judgement, his sin, will be his downfall. Maybe this is his time, God’s will.” 

Jacob took a step beak. “For fuck’s sake Joseph, don’t do that now. This is our brother! After everything he's been through you can’t believe that he deserves death.” Jacob paced the floor, getting more pissed off with each second Joseph stood looking perfectly pleased with the situation. 

“I’m done with you right now Joe. Just stay the fuck out of my way.” Jacob stormed off, brushing past his younger brother.


	9. Chapter 9

It’s been two days with no word of John or Ryleigh. Jacob couldn’t stand Joseph’s blasé attitude. Puttering around like a man in mourning. Going as far as to make an announcement on the radio. Telling the people of Eden’s Gate of the tragedy that occurred. He passed through Joseph’s makeshift sermon during the second day where they were alone. He was telling everyone about the locust in their garden, how the sinner that John had baptized wasn’t truly clean. Joseph ranted in such a fervid manner about how Ryleigh lulled John into a false sense of security then snuffed him out.

It was almost enough to cause Jacob to lose his temper. He had to be the bigger person. Had to walk away, keep his head down until someone on that radio said they saw John or Ryleigh, or until they walked down those bunker steps. 

When did shit get so complicated? He just wanted his family back. Why did God have to keep tearing them apart?  
————————-  
She was achy and sore. Her muscles were contorted at an odd angle. John had ran ahead to find somewhere safe to stay the next few nights while they regroup. Currently they were holed up in an old car. One of the few cars that weren’t obliterated or didn’t have a hole in it. Lucky find. 

Only problem being that the front seat had springs and rusty nails poking out everywhere, rendering it unusable. They stayed in the smaller backseat together. So, in the morning they sat in the back to eat and go over the map they had. They talked about how they’d have to be careful now that they were in Angel homeland. The mention of Angels had John checking over their guns once more. The one topic they didn’t approach was Joseph or Jacob. Ryleigh could see them in her mind's eye. Their raging disappointment or...just plain rage. He must of been thinking of his brothers too. She could tell that he was having the worst time out of the two of them. She saw the sad, soft look on his face. He wasn’t too quick to smile either. 

In the end they decided to spend one more day in the car. She was pleased with the time they were making. One day fully walking, getting them past Dutch’s island and Joseph’s. During the night they slept in the church that she tried to arrest Joseph at. The roof was littered with holes, but when John frowned his disapproval she was quick to remind him of the beautiful starry sky they could see. Going as far as to taunt him about the huge ranch he had. Teasing him that there were no luxuries out here. 

When morning came they spent half of the second day making their way to the Henbane. By afternoon they found the car that was made home for the third day on this adventure.

Once the sun was beginning to set was when she heard them. Their inhuman growls and grunts. The nighttime made it easier to see the waves of green that emanated off their bodies. She shook John, not trusting her voice to stay quiet. The asshole was already dozing off. She watched when he jerked upright, coming back to consciousness. 

Ryleigh moved close to his ear. “I think I saw Angels, heard ‘em too.” He rolled his eyes at the sound of her paranoia. He moved to lean over her sitting body, hands braced on either sides of her waist. “You think?” She could’ve slapped him. 

The air of annoyance that his words carried made her ready to physically harm him. But she saw the panic in his movements, as he pressed himself subtly into her side. She remembered him telling her that the bliss wasn’t his ‘thing.’ There’s a good chance he’s just as scared as she was. 

“Well you’re one of the heralds, go and tell them to piss off.”  
“Are you insane?”  
“I’m cuddling up next to a man who I wanted to slaughter about a month ago, so I’d say yes.”

John’s lips pulled down. The word ‘slaughter’ was probably a tad too strong. He huffed like a child. “We are not cuddling.” 

Really? That’s what he was mad about?

She guessed the word cuddling implied affection on both their parts plus some feelings he wasn’t ready to admit so easily. But he still stayed pressed into her side, one arm circling behind her back. Head under her neck, leaning on her collarbone. “Yea John sure, we’re not cuddling. Go to sleep. I’ll take first watch so our throats don’t get ripped out by Angels.”

He laughed, lips brushing her skin. “Charming.” She fought the urge to shiver, instead bringing her arms up to pull him closer. 

Before John went to sleep they never discussed when he’d wake up to take watch so she could fall asleep, and disturbing the snoring man who was currently drooling on her seemed wrong. So she sat listening to the Angel’s cries and stroked John’s hair. This continued until she saw the sun peeking up over the black landscape. They needed to get a head start on walking. 

Ryleigh once again shook his body. Or as well as one could when that body was pushing his entire weight onto you. When that proved futile she put her hand behind his neck and squeezed. The undignified yelp he let out was something to remember to tell Jacob, he’d get a laugh out of it for sure. 

They clambered out of the car, John stretching and tilting his head around to look for any Angels. He caught sight of Ryleigh, who was leaning against the car with her head down and eyes closed. He strolled over and in the most accusatory voice she’s ever heard out of him, demanded why didn’t she wake him up earlier to let herself sleep. She waved off his concerns. It was surprisingly simple to shut the man up when all she needed to do was cup his cheeks and whisper that she’d be fine. 

Ryleigh turned away from his dazed expression and began to walk. 

Five hours later and she was starting to feel tired. The gun she held in her hands felt too heavy, even if it was only a handgun. John walked ahead, covering their front and sides. Her job was the back. She glanced behind her from time to time, but the further they walked the more her eyes dropped. The less aware she was of her surroundings. 

She stumbled, foot catching on a root, before going down hard. Knees hitting hardened lumps of mud, and letting gravity pull her on her face. John froze for half a second before risking a glance behind him. When he saw Ryleigh’s sprawled out form he wasted no time in running to her. Crouched down by her body, he pushed her so she was lying on her back. He snapped his fingers in front of her face for some kind of reaction. It didn’t seem like dehydration or hunger, just fatigue. Not that he could say he was surprised. 

“Come on baby girl, we’ve gotta find some place to lay down, at least for another hour.” John moved to help her on her feet, she was already propping herself up on her elbows. She had a perfect view over his shoulder so she could see the stumbling body wielding a shovel come right towards them. But her reflexes were shot. She tried to push John out of the way, to at least take the blow for him. But she wasn’t fast enough. Of course not. And the strangled cry of “watch out,” was delivered too late. 

The sound the metal made against his skull made bile rise in her throat. She watched John stumble forward but quickly dodge another swing and get to a standing position. The Angel came at him again, John grabbed the handle of the shovel which he maneuvered to end up in horizontal position.

Ryleigh held up her gun, twisted on her side and sleepy she didn’t trust her shaking hands. But she didn’t see John’s rifle anywhere for him to protect himself with and the Angel was starting to over power him. So she took the shot. Heard the cry of pain that came from it then a few more hard whacks of the shovel. 

John was lying on the dirt, panting. The Angel next to him had his face bashed in. Ryleigh got on her feet and offered a hand to John. He didn’t reach for her. His eyes were shut tight. The ragged breaths he was letting out wasn’t the adrenaline wearing off, it was from pain. 

He was shot. Blood pooling around his thigh. She shot him, she shot him in the thigh, most likely the artery that was there. Of course she’d shoot the huge fucking artery in his thigh. She dropped down next to him and tugged him into a sitting position. He whimpered at the movement. She could already see him going unconscious. Head dropping back. Muscles going slack. “John? John, c’mon. You gotta tell me what to do here! John—I can’t. You can’t do this, please.” But he was already floating between wakefulness and death.


	10. Chapter 10

She wasn’t sure about how much time she had left until John bled out in her arms. She cradled his head in one arm, the other hand was busy tracing over a map of Hope County. She saw their expected route that he marked earlier with a pink highlighter. In blue he circled buildings, possible places for shelter. Problem being that she wasn’t sure if those things still existed. She’d take him there, didn’t have much of a choice, the closest one was maybe a twenty minute walk. Chalk on another fifteen because of the man she had to carry. 

It took far too long to make John stand and put his arm around her in order to stabilize himself. Ryleigh pocketed the gun. Didn’t do her much good last time, and besides, she needed both her hands free to hold him. 

The entire walk there had the same success as a bunch of five year olds during a three legged race. She tripped over her own feet, roots, rocks and occasionally over John’s feet. It was infuriating. She cursed at him. Unsure if he could even hear her. The fact that the walk there was so difficult made seeing the cabin in the distance that much more sweet. She let out a laugh and squeezed John closer to her. It was just for one night, gave them somewhere warm, plus time to properly take care of him. 

Ten feet away from the cabin and the lights flicked on. Someone was home. Someone else was above ground, and Angels don’t use lights, it had to be another person. If it was someone from the resistance they’d be upset she was carting around John, but surely after all she did for them they could repay her by not putting a bullet between his eyes. She was actually hoping for an Eden’s Gate member though. They would take care of John no problem. 

Her legs came to a halt and her arms gave way. She let John slump to the floor then kneeled as he took her with him. Two approaching forms came out of the house, guns raised. They immediately made their way towards her, must of been watching her for awhile. 

They ran, full on sprinting. Oh and they knew she had John. Their screams were filled with joy. Eden’s Gate. The shirts they wore were dirty but she could still make out the faded logo they were known for. 

The shorter of the two stopped in front of her. Gun trained on her head. “The Father was right huh? You killing John, trying to steal him from us!” She swore he was close to pulling the trigger. His hands were shaking like crazy. 

The other one, who stood back, now stepped in. He lowered his friend’s gun. “No. No don’t do that. John likes making people confess then repent. While he’s out of commission let’s take his place and fix this dirty sinner.” 

——————  
“Jacob, they found John, he’s alive, stable.” Jacob’s body tensed. Now where was Ryleigh’s name in that sentence? But Jacob felt wrong asking that now, not when Joseph was smiling at him like that. It was full and honest. Showing off teeth and making his eyes crinkle at the edges. “ “You wanna celebrate Joe?”  
“Actually yes.” Joseph motioned for Jacob to follow. In the next room was a bottle of wine and an assortment of food. Hot food, not some shit from a can. Jacob let out a low whistle. He reached forward to pour out the wine for them both. They clinked their glasses and Jacob threw his head back while Joseph only took a sip. “Damn Joseph, maybe John should get lost more often.”

Joseph’s eyes went cold, “He’s not a dog who got lost coming home, he was stolen from us Jacob.” Jacob nodded, arms clenched tight behind his back. “Mhm. Speaking of, where is Ryleigh? Those people who told you they found John..did they mention her?” Jacob turned away from his brother, looking at the bed where they first kept her locked up. 

“No.”  
Jacob forced a laugh out. “No?”  
“Believe me Jacob, I told them to give me explicit details on what happened and they didn’t say a word about Ryleigh. However, they said to me that John told them that she shot him and left him for dead.” 

Jacob hissed through his teeth. It wasn’t like her. She showed how kind she was to the people she cared about. Like when she talked so highly of John the night before they left. She took care of Joseph, made sure none of his wounds got worse. Or how she sat curled up in Jacob’s lap. He looked into her eyes and didn’t see anything hostile. He saw quite the opposite. Adoration. 

Joseph told him of the conversation he and Ryleigh had in the bathroom, how Joseph told her that he had no problem loving her. And Jacob believed that. Jacob knew how easy it was for his younger brother to show his affection so long someone showed some level of interest in him first. John was desperate for love. He knew how willingly John would love to show that side of him to Ryleigh. Jacob knew that if Ryleigh came back with John then Joseph would see that it was some divine holy plan that God had. He swore that if they were back safe and sound then Joseph would love her, and he knew how much she needed love. From all of them. Even he could admit that she’s been through hell. 

It was too hard to imagine her dead. She was a fighter. She’d fight tooth and nail to live, to make John live. He’d go out after them if he had to. Fuck Joseph.  
———————-  
He yanked roughly on her hair, pulling her head up. Already her body was littered with an impressive amount of cuts and bruises. They ranged down her entire length, starting at her neck and ending at her calves. The shirt she wore hung in tatters on her waist. The pants she had were split up the legs. 

They did well tying her up to the chair. It was as good as John’s work, the same basic setup too. Only difference being that she couldn’t make this end. John gave her a choice—just say yes!—but they told her at the beginning the purpose of this was pure revenge. To show her that no one fucks with Eden’s Gate. They were going to make a lesson out of her. It’s like the human race reverted back to Salam. 

Now it was cuts with rusty blades and punches she couldn’t deflect. The taste of copper rang out in her mouth. She was sure she was missing a tooth. The adrenaline high she was finally coming down from was making her drowsy. They didn’t give her reprise though. 

The one man who stopped her from getting shot in the head was the one torturing her. And the sinister look he shot her way made her shiver. 

“You’re not easy to break. This entire time and you haven’t even cried yet. No show of remorse for what you’ve done...I’ve got an idea, don’t worry. You’ll be begging soon.” She tensed, putting her head forward. He walked over slow, calculated steps, making her think of Jacob. Suddenly he reached out and grabbed her chin. His hands ran down to her neck, giving it a single squeeze as he passed. He ended up with his fingers ghosting a hot trail over her breasts. With a sharp tug he yanked her bra down. In an instant her pride was gone. 

He stayed eerily quiet. Gaze just roaming as he kept his distance. But soon he was back at her side, twisting a nipple until it was perky. He nudged her thighs apart, holding them tight enough to bruise when she struggled. His lips attacked her neck, most likely adding more bruises to the collection. His hands roamed to grasp at her chest. The whines of distress she let out didn’t do her any good. 

She bucked her hips and squirmed, trying to loosen the knots on her wrists. She didn’t expect the slap to her cheek making her cry out. He used the distraction to his advantage, pulling her underwear and ripped pants down to her ankles then shoving two fingers inside her. This time she let the tears flow. Figured that she deserved that moment of weakness. 

Ryleigh tried hard to ignore the fingers inside her, instead focusing on getting out of her restraints. They had some slack and were starting to give. She twisted her body desperately. A dull pain throbbed in her hand. The more she turned her body around the more her arms were beginning to go numb. Maybe something was broken. 

The man between her legs moved his fingers out and pushed his face to her clit instead. His tongue roved around. She bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to give the fucker any satisfaction on making him think she was enjoying this. 

The rope holding her snapped. 

She froze at the tiny sound it made. But he was too busy. Too busy trying to make her either cry out of fear or pleasure. She wasn’t sure. 

Ryleigh moved her left hand and felt sharp stabs of pain run up her fingers. She couldn’t make her hand curl into a fist. Nor could she twirl her wrist around. Right hand it was. Not like she had a plan. The smarter person, which she thought she was, would have waited. They would wait for him to finish and leave the room before they find a way out. If there were only two of them then taking them out would be one of her easier tasks. 

But her mind was too muddled from what was happening. This was too traumatic for her to process now. She just wanted out. Cause he was already unbuckling his belt, head still dipped between her legs. 

Shakily her unbroken hand came over slowly to hover over his head. She squirmed to kick her pants and underwear further down her legs, it would allow her to move, either attack him or run. She took her shot and twisted her hand in his long hair. Pulling up she forced him to let out a scream. He tried to claw at her face, but she was faster at kicking out his feet. He tumbled to the ground. Ryleigh pounced on his body, straddling him. Her hands tightened around his neck, squeezing, crying. Full sobs wracked her tiny frame. She was so scared. It hurt to admit. She wasn’t strong enough, not for this. 

He flipped her over so she was the one lying on her back. His hands roughly grabbed onto her neck. He lifted her head up then slammed it down. He repeated this motion, moving her like she was a rag doll. He continued slamming her head on the concrete ground until she was out cold.


	11. Chapter 11

John stood in the dimly lit kitchen, a steaming bowl of soup sat untouched in front of him. He was leaning heavily on the counter, the bandages on his thigh were wrapped tightly, making it difficult to move. 

An hour before, he had spoken to Joseph via the radio that the man who stitched him, who introduced himself as Dan, had provided him with. 

As Dan scampered off to check on his friend, Samuel, It was quick to figure out that they lied to Joseph. Told him that Ryleigh was gone. John assured Joseph that they were together the entire time. Expect for now, Samuel let John know that he had Ryleigh in a separate room. When talking to Joseph, John left out the part that he could occasionally hear her screams. When John asked Dan about it, he said that they were only punishing the sinner like she deserved. It sounded too much like he own words for him to disagree. Besides, after his talk with Joseph he believed that she needed the punishment. 

Somewhere along their conversation, Joseph managed to use the right words to make John more unsure about Ryleigh. It wasn’t completely biased, but Joseph showed hesitance. Sure, he voiced his acceptance of Ryleigh if God allowed them a safe trip, but any ounce of doubt had John thinking twice about what happened before they found this place. The girl was a marksman, and all her fellow resistance members would gladly have the girl covering their backs. So how did she end up shooting him? No. She wanted him dead. It should’ve been obvious when he pitched the idea of going out and she didn’t even bat an eye. He had a target on his back as soon as they stepped foot out of the bunker. John made himself vulnerable. Had shown the soft side of himself that night in the car, and she took advantage of that. Waiting for the perfect time to get the drop on him. 

Jacob came on the radio after Joseph to convince John to bring Ryleigh back. ‘They needed her.’ Yea...sure. Who’s to say she wouldn’t kill them all in their sleep. Jacob was near pleading, John could hear his voice get thick with emotion. He said he understood Ryleigh and the pain she felt. “I mean really John, maybe she’s more like us then we thought. I held her while she fell asleep, I stared into her eyes and I saw something. Something worth saving. Bring her back, at least for me.” 

John took a long time going over his brother’s words. Joseph never outright told him not to save her. He spoke cryptically, never giving a straight answer. He was trusting John’s judgement. Seldom did he openly tell John that whatever choice he made would be the right one. 

Yet John imagined the bunker lifestyle without her. He enjoyed every rare smile she gave. But was it worth it? Were those moments worth the risk of bringing her back? He still had time to mull it over. Dan volunteered to drive them back. He found a car that was still running. Gas was low, but he was certain they’d be able to make it back to Dutch’s. Both men were giving John thirty minutes to rest, and of course, time to figure out if he wanted to bring Ryleigh back. 

———————-  
He couldn’t leave her. Not with Jacob’s pleas still ringing in his ears. Especially since he couldn’t get their trip out of his head. How she held him close and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. It reminded him of how his brothers would comfort him. He wanted that comfort, he longed for someone to come along and hold him like she did. 

John let Dan know he’d gladly take Ryleigh. So John sat in the back of the car, head surveying the landscape. 

The slamming of the mesh door caught his attention. John sucked in a breath through his teeth. Ryleigh was sporting a limp. Eyes closed. She barely looked like she was breathing. And each breath she took had her wincing in pain. Her hand was pressed to her ribs. While the other hand was curled up at her chest like a bird with a broken wing. Her face had an array of cuts and purple bruises. The clothes she was wearing weren’t the ones she had arrived in. The ones they gave her hung off her body, way too big for her. And as subtle as if was, John could see the way Ryleigh tried to distance herself from Samuel, who was trying his best to support her. 

John felt the burning urge to jump out of the car and shoot the bastard in the head. But he was still unsure about who the enemy was. So John said nothing as she climbed in the back. He turned his body facing the window, out of the corner of his eye he ignored how she struggled putting on her seatbelt. It tugged at his heart. He knew he should help her, but he was scared she’d ruin everything. His mind was already reeling over whether he made the right choice, or if she could forgive him for not coddling her. It was too much confusion and he wasn’t sure which side she was on yet. So he kept his hands to himself. 

He could already envision the anger on Jacob’s face. Or the unending concern that Joseph would give. He swore, the girl could put a bullet through the heads of everyone Joseph’s ever loved and he would find it in him to forgive her. John wasn’t easily swayed though. He just hoped Joseph would be supporting him when they got back.


	12. Chapter 12

Ryleigh stumbled ahead, pain sprouting from her newly developed headache. She noticed how John stayed a few steps back, his hesitancy towards her made things tense. Right now he wasn’t the man exchanging sly smiles and who allowed himself to be held while he slept. Instead he reminded her of a scared child who was about to be disciplined. She just couldn’t pinpoint whether he was scared of his brother’s wrath or hers. 

She placed her hands on the bunker handles and pulled. Nothing. It didn’t give...they locked it. Violently John came up behind her and slammed his left foot down on it repeatedly. His breathing was labored and a few of his slicked back hairs fell in his face. The same primal urge that made her care for Joseph was beginning to rise in her again. But she shoved it down, for all she knew he could turn on her, pummel her to the ground after he finished beating the crap out of the metal doors. 

A few seconds later and the bunker doors swung open. Joseph stood on the other side, mouth slightly agape. “Shush, you’ll wake Jacob.” Ryleigh wanted to scream. That’s the first thing he decided to say. John looked like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown and she felt like she was about to drop dead. But John took no notice of his greeting. He ran down to his brother’s arms. She could hear the pained whimpers he let out. They pushed their foreheads together, then Joseph pressed a kiss to his head. “Sleep John, you must be exhausted.”

Joseph zeroed in on her when John’s footsteps faded. He extended his hands to her, a silent peace offering. One that she accepted due to her decline in health. When they were standing on equal ground and the bunker was shut, he moved to repeat the same forehead ritual on her. “My Child, Ryleigh, I know I’ve made mistakes, even down here we are not free from such bad judgement calls. I understand the anger that you may feel. But please, allow me to assist you. Just like how you saved me that night where you took care of my wounds, let me help you.” 

A simple nod was all he needed to cart her off to the bathroom. Her throat was too tight for her to speak properly. She felt like she was about to pass out, as much as she hated to admit it, Joseph was the only one here to help her tonight.

He guided her to lean on the wall adjacent to where the shower was. With her eyes closed she heard the door click shut then him rummaging around in the cabinet. When he was satisfied with the assortment he gathered, he invaded her space and tilted her head side to side, assessing the damage. Under his breath he hummed a song while he worked. She was hoping this whole thing would go on without a word from either of them, she just wanted to rest. 

“I’m sorry.” She tensed beneath his touch upon hearing his voice. By now he had moved away, finished with her face. She didn’t bring up the tenderness of her swollen gums, there was nothing he could do for a missing tooth anyway. 

“You’re sorry Joseph? That’s all you’ve got for me? I don’t think you really understand what I went through.” She watched as his nostrils flared with anger. He leaned against the glass wall of the shower before speaking again. “This is God’s punishment. After all you’ve done to my people, He finally found a way for you to atone. And now that all the wrath has been expelled from both parties, we may continue with our lives. The Gate of Eden is not yet shut out to you.”

Her palms laid flat behind her. She had to stop herself from making a fist, cause she knew that would only lead to Joseph leaving here cradling his jaw. Instead she just nodded. The way he saw things would make sense if the circumstances weren’t so fucked. He was claiming that she struck first and basically karma’s a bitch. Fine. This one time it wouldn’t hurt to be the bigger person and let this go. Hell, maybe she’d even earn some respect for acting like an adult. 

Joseph moved towards her and pulled gently on her top, moving it to reveal her stomach. “May I?” The tendons in her neck stood out for a moment, did she have a choice? 

“Go ahead.” 

He went slow, mindful of her injuries. He didn’t appear shocked at seeing her battered form. His fingers hover over a bite mark over her collar bone, then trailed down to the one on her breast. He didn’t say anything, but did try to meet her gaze. The fact that she looked away didn’t prove her innocence. She couldn’t talk about that right now, couldn’t deal with the tears that would come. 

Joseph cleaned up the cuts on her torso. There was no treatment for the bruises, he gave them one last parting glance before brushing his hand against the hem of her jeans. She didn’t want to, yet she knew the damage that laid underneath. And if the throbbing on her legs signified anything, it was that it demanded immediate attention. To avoid further embarrassment, she was the one to take off her pants. After watching her, he noticed her struggle from the disuse of her left hand. He tenderly grabbed at it. 

Never in a million years would she be able to imagine standing in her underwear in front of Joseph Seed while he pressed soft kisses to her broken wrist. “After you take a shower I’ll help fix this.” 

Ah, so that’s part of the reason why she was stripping down. She almost had the nerve to argue with him to let her shower now. But he was already working on the cuts at her thighs and felt like her efforts would have been wasted. 

Once Joseph was done he moved fast to throw everything away and turn on the water. She waited patiently until he stood by the door.

“Can I shower now?”  
“Of course, go on.”  
“I don’t need a babysitter.” His face remained the same as he tipped his head down, “Based on what occurred last time you were alone in the shower with a fragile mind set...then I’d say you do need a babysitter.”

She froze. Call it stage fright more than fear. Letting the enemy—past enemy?—catch you with your pants down was never a good thing. But her achy bones yearned for the hot water that was already creating steam. Without taking another look at Joseph, she unhooked her bra and stuck her thumbs in the waistline of her underwear and pulled them down. She kicked the garments away then stepped under the stream of water. 

The groan she let out made Joseph look up from where he was standing, currently folding her clothes. He noted how she held her left hand away, completing the task of washing unfazed by the pain. When she turned away from him, he watched her rub the back of her neck then roll her shoulders to work out the knots. 

In his mind, he already forgave her for what she did. Past and recent events. And he so badly wanted her to come around, figuring this small act of kindness would be the start of it all. The one thing bound to set them back was if he told her how he basically put a price on her head. Joseph wasn’t naive. He knew the only reason she got attacked was from him. He had already prayed for forgiveness, it was brief, but it calmed him. The weight of sin was lifted off his shoulders. He was prepared to show her his devotion. It was only a matter of if she was willing to accept it. 

Ryleigh snapped the water off when it started to run cold. She crossed her arms over her bare chest and gingerly accepted the towel Joseph held out for her. 

Wrapped up tight in the fluffy cotton, Joseph held her hand to lead her to his room. The protests she had died on her tongue when he moved about only to gather clothes for her. He pressed them to her shivering form. “Ryleigh, I understand that you haven’t truly chosen a proper room. Tomorrow I’ll be sure to clean out one of the storage rooms and repurpose it for you. But for now feel free to change and sleep in here,” he threw his arms in a vague gesture to the wide area that he claimed for himself, “or you may go down the hall to one of my brothers…perhaps John.” With his suggestion as to where she should sleep came his cool eyes landing on the bite marks she had. She didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth, once again she looked away from him. 

Her choice was simple to make. Joseph’s room was out, even during the day she stayed out of his room, which happened to be the room she woke up handcuffed in, it didn’t harbour good memories. 

She didn’t choose John’s room since some weird shit was going on between them that she didn’t want to address. They both needed space for a few days. 

Jacob’s room was off the table too. Joseph told them to keep quiet when they first got here, he sounded exasperated. Almost as if Jacob had just gotten to bed after not being able to sleep for awhile. The poor man woke up constantly from night terrors. She didn’t want to be responsible for waking him by making too much noise when he already didn’t get enough rest. 

She walked away from Joseph, down the hall to the storage room filled with crap that he mentioned. She took her time getting dressed. Everyone was asleep so there was no concern for one of them to walk by. Once dressed she made her way over a mountain of items to a small corner where she could lay down. It wasn’t comfortable in the slightest. She still recalled being wrapped up in Jacob’s embrace, feeling safe. And how could she forget the warmth of John’s body pushing into her side? This was drastically different. All she had tonight was the cold tile and overflowing boxes.

An assortment of things poked and prodded at her injured body. She ignored all of it and curled up on her side like a dog. She longed for the hands of another person. For someone to give her an affectionate touch, hold her while she cried and to tell her everything would be alright even if they were just as unsure of the future as she was.


	13. Chapter 13

The clanging of something metal hitting the floor jerked her into wakefulness. John stood in the middle of the room, frozen. His foot, which was in the process of coming down, hung in the air near a stack of overturned boxes he knocked over. His arms were outstretched, keeping him balanced. The look he gave her was full of embarrassment. “Joseph told me to get you, we’re having breakfast.” That’s the only explanation he offered before retreating from the room. 

The struggle to stand up took longer than she liked to admit. She used the shelves that lined the walls to get her on her feet. Extra time was wasted tripping over what John spilled on the floor. 

When she managed to make her way to where they ate, she stood in the doorway to watch them move around each other. The three of them were more proactive than she’s seen them since the first two weeks. 

She kept staring. The space was already crowded with their presence and suddenly she felt claustrophobic. Her nails dug into the meat of her thigh. Fully prepared to turn tail and run. But Jacob, who was in the middle of setting the table, caught sight of her. He gave a parting glance to Joseph before stepping out and pulling her away from the door and into the hallway. 

Ryleigh wasted no time in flinging her arms around him. She mumbled incoherently in the crook of his neck. He happily returned the gesture. His soft touches made her want to cry. He acted as if he were handling something fragile and worth preserving. Finally, someone willing to hold her. Jacob rocked them back and forth, hand eventually coming up to stroke at her jaw. It took him a second to make up his mind and press his lips to hers. Her brain screamed at her to run. The thoughts of her previous night were resurfacing. But when she reached up it wasn’t that man. It wasn’t Daniel. No, instead her hand brushed the scars that made Jacob’s face uniquely his. And the weight he pushed into her was something that could easily be escaped from. It was comforting to know she was being offered a way out. 

The man who shoved her in a cage and starved her was suddenly the only one who kept bringing her unending comfort. Jacob moved to cradle her to his chest and kiss the crown of her head. “You look like shit.” His first words spoken to her were so...Jacob. Exactly what she expected. Straight to the point, not a beat around the bush kind of guy. That small ounce of his dry attitude almost had her laughing. “What happened out there? We asked John, but he only remembers so much up to a certain point.” 

“First off, I’ve been through worse. I’ll survive, Seed.” He nodded his agreement. Was he thinking about the trials he put her through? Thinking that if she was strong enough for that, then she’d be able to handle anything else the world threw at her? If only he knew. Because she had never had a worse life experience then what happened the days where she was outside the bunker. Now wasn’t the time to tell him what happened. Not when they were gathering around the table to eat together. Something that rarely occurred. 

She steered clear of his second question. She was already on the verge of tears when he held her. It was hard enough for her to process those events.Then it’d be her fault for ruining breakfast by sobbing in the soldier’s arms. 

“Who’s idea was it to make a feast?”  
“That’d be Joseph. He loves playing host.” Jacob briefly threw an arm around her, “C’mon, humor him. He’s doing this for you.” His comment sent a pang of something unfamiliar in her heart. Joseph was trying. Actively putting forth an effort. And after what she went through..going along with this and accepting the olive branch he offered to her wasn’t going to kill her.  
————————  
Breakfast was awkward. Because of course it was. Joseph pried. He wouldn’t let shit be and take the hint that now wasn’t a good time to talk about how the trip went. Just the mention of it had John sulking. She had forgotten with all the excitement, but the entire reason they went out was to help some stragglers in need. They hadn’t made it there and Joseph claims it’s been nothing but silence from the strangers. Once that subject came up, John sat mutely, save for some one worded responses he would grant them with. 

Halfway through their meal and she caught on to what Joseph was doing. He asked about every small detail about what went on. She figured he was simply curious. But then she saw his quizzical gaze fall to the bitemarks she sported. Two on her neck that were visible, then three more on her breasts which were thankfully covered by her loose top. 

John’s irritation was easy to pick up. Joseph wanted to push things, wanted to rid John of his suspected sin. John left the table before Joseph could keep up with his line of questioning. 

The room got quiet after that. She heard the blood rushing to her ears. If she wasn’t careful then her shaking hands would make the silverware clink against the side of her plate. Upon noticing her twitchy movements, Jacob cut breakfast short and whisked her away, leaving Joseph to clean up. 

Ryleigh’s body was moved like a rag doll until Jacob gently pushed her back on his bed. He cupped her cheeks and parted his lips to start asking questions. She sat waiting, but saw, for the first time, how he floundered. Like he didn’t know what to ask first. Or which question would make her shut down. He wasn’t stupid. He could see how severely damaged she came back. How her mind wasn’t fully there. One wrong thing said and he feared she was headed for a mental break. 

She stood up abruptly, grabbing at the hem of her shirt she lifted it over her head. Before he could reach out or say anything she went back in front of him and took his hands to place them on her hips. Jacob got the sense that she was leading things, most likely out of some deep rooted necessity. He saw how she recoiled when his hands moved, even if they were pressed onto her skin. She raised her hands to hold his face. When she spoke next he strained to catch her quivering voice. 

“I bet you don’t know what it’s like for your sense of freedom to be stolen from you. To have someone hold you down and permit your movements to benefit their agenda. After I met you, I thought you were as bad as they come.” Now she moved to nudge his legs apart and sit on his knee. One of his hands went to her back, grip firm and supportive. The other hand rubbed circles onto her leg. 

Ryleigh tapped the bitemarks to draw his attention. “I never want to feel that powerless again. It made me doubt my strength, my reason for survival.” The pause she offered allowed him to pose a question he’d been afraid to ask…”Did—now, John..he wasn’t the one to hurt you right? That night in the car..” she held up her hand to stop him and curled up to tuck her head against his chest. Instinctively he leaned his cheek to rest on her hair. 

“John’s a sweet man. I bet all the women flocked to him. He didn’t do a thing to me Jacob. And while I appreciate you asking, for not assuming your brother’s a saint...just don’t let John know that you asked. It’ll break his heart. Or more likely make him pissed at you.” Jacob nodded in indication to understanding. Quickly he pulled her fully on the bed. 

“You’re gonna have to forgive Joseph for thinking the worst. John was promiscuous so he was only checking. Look, I promise that I’ll gladly stand by you, but I need you to give my brothers a chance too. They may push away or pretend they don’t need it. But I think both sides could gain something from caring for each other. I’m not saying you have to make the first move. Y’know, after what you went through. But if they do something, try not to push it away.” 

The words he spoke floated around. Sure, if she put her mind to it then eventually she could love everyone down here. Jacob made loving him so easy. His brothers were difficult. 

When she thought of John she assumed that he could only show his affection through sex and that was something she couldn’t offer. She could still feel that man’s hands taking what didn’t belong to him. He probably had a number of sins lined up. One rang out in her mind. Greed. 

With Joseph it would actually be easier. Things were tense between the two of them, but he cared. He showed his love openly. She could get used to him holding her some nights. 

She looked over at Jacob. He moved them to be lying on their sides. The same position as the night when they first kissed. She had to put her trust in Jacob. If he believed that they could make this work then she’d have to do her part. With one last chaste kiss she smiled at him.

“I’ll try.”


	14. Chapter 14

“You’re avoiding me John.” Two more weeks crossed off the calendar gave her ample evidence to know that John was expertly good at dodging people. He ducked out of the room whenever she engaged him. Somehow she couldn’t find a proper time to ask why his attitude was off. 

Until now.

Joseph had asked him to go grab more soap from where they kept extra supplies in one of the back rooms. And she had dutifully followed. She watched the protests rise in his throat, but she took another step towards him and pressed her hand forcefully to his chest, the words he were about to speak died on his tongue. 

“It’s childish.” He still didn’t speak. She was moments away from ripping at his hair, forcing some sort of explanation out of him. “Are you mad at me?” 

This made his eyes widen. His hand reached up to grab at where hers still laid on his heart. “It’s not really you.” She would have laughed in his face. Given another time she would be ready to hear some break up speech. But this was too serious. “I don’t want my brother’s work to be undone. Do you understand the lengths we went through to make sure Eden’s Gate succeeded?” 

“And how does that relate to you avoiding me?” He let go of her hand and ran his fingers down his face. “Ryleigh, Joseph may be ready to trust you again, but I’m still not sure. How am I supposed to bare myself to you without suspicion? You still carry sins or else God wouldn’t of let that man harm you. So either you've got something else to confess or God punished you for no reason at all. I’m sure we both know the answer to this question.” His jaw was tense as he watched her closely. She saw the wetness that started to form a layer over his bright eyes. The pain in his wavering voice almost had her throwing herself at his feet to beg for forgiveness. 

“Are you asking me to confess John?” He jerked back as if he hadn’t even considered to do the same things as he once did before Joseph’s prophecy came true. 

“You’ll say yes? For me?” He moved toward her, grabbing again at her wrists and pulling her to his chest. She allowed herself to be dragged forward. She tipped her head down and let him bump their foreheads together. He let out a shaky sigh. 

“Yes, John. If that’s what it takes. Yes.”  
————————  
There was no room dedicated for John’s personal torture chamber, though he’d probably think of it as a confessional room. Because of this, Ryleigh let John do it in her room. The same room that Jacob had cleaned out for her and moved furniture into. Jacob also set to work making a door esque structure for each room. It was flimsy and there were slight cracks in the side, but it gave some semblance of privacy. 

John gathered everything he deemed necessary. He had a metal fold up chair for her to sit on and a small collapsible table next to it. He layed out a tattoo gun and their sharpest knife on the table. Though her survival instincts were screaming at her to run away, she had readily agreed to this. Strange considering how the first tattoo deeming her sin,‘Wrath’ was given to her while she was unconscious and pinned beneath the man’s weight. But now she was handing her non blemished skin to John in a tiny hand wrapped gift. 

They had discussed placement and being the kind, generous man he was, he allowed her to choose. In the end she asked for it to be on her lower back to the right side. So once he placed the chair down she was already climbing into position. With her chest pressed firmly against the chair’s back. Her fingers were turning white from the death grip she had on the metal. 

John sat on the bed which was in front of her and leaned back. A smile played at his lips. He was confident again. After all this time he was finally back in his element. 

“Alright Deputy, confess.” Ryleigh bit her tongue. Even down here where her screams would be heard by his caring brothers, she still felt like John had a hold on her. She still felt scared. Like he had some level of authority over her. With that in mind, there was no way that she was going to correct him for calling her deputy. For a second she questioned his sanity. His body language and the lack of her name made her think that the only time he felt in control was when he played John The Baptist. And she granted him that luxury. 

She tipped her head down and struggled for words. She hadn’t thought of what she would tell him beforehand. His accusation of her harbouring some secret happened so quickly. 

“Pride. Mark me with pride.” The expression he gave her was less than amused. It sent jolts of terror running through her.   
“That’s not much a confession. Though I can’t disagree with your choice. Come on Deputy,” He waved the tip of the knife through the air,” “I’m sure we can do better.” Before he started slicing up her skin, she scrambled for an explanation. 

“Okay, Okay—fine. When I came to Hope County, from that first moment I thought I was tough shit. And each time you or one of your siblings captured me then I escaped, it only added to my pride. I took insane risks because I knew that I’d come out on the other side just fine. And from my pride came other sins.” She paused to press a finger to her wrath tattoo. “Maybe that’s why Jacob caught me. Why I didn’t take his whole ‘I can bring you back to me any time I please,’ spiel. I guess my hubris got in the way. And because of that people died. Good people.”

John’s face remained a mask of calm. The way he looked at her, urging more truth from her. She had to admit, it was cathartic. So much so that she almost said more. Because of course there were other sins she had committed. Hell, probably all of the cardinal sins. Who hasn’t? But she couldn’t tell that to John. He’d be more than happy to carve each one into her flesh. 

“Finished?” Ryleigh nodded quickly and tossed her shirt over her head, brandishing her skin to him. There was the gentle hum of the tattoo gun before she felt the first press into her back. 

She flinched from where she was sitting, resulting in John’s iron grip on her shoulder. Eventually the sting turned into a dull pain that she could ignore if she concentrated. “Finished?” He chuckled near her ear at her throwing his words back at him. “Actually yes, you can get up now.” 

When she swung her leg over the chair, she accepted John’s outstretched hand to help her to the bed. As he sat down he pulled her so her legs were crossed over his. He made her lean forward to inspect his work. She watched his eyes dart between her tattoo and the knife that he placed by his hip. 

“You haven’t atoned yet. That’s why God brought his wrath upon you. We can do it now if you like.” His words made her tremble. She knew what it meant to atone. He’d take that knife and peel off her skin which had been tattooed. At this point she was tired of the distrust that linked them together. She wanted some sort of peace. Jacob told her to try. If this had to be the first step then so be it. 

“Yes. Yes John.”


	15. Chapter 15

Jacob hovered nervously in the doorway. His eyes fought to find hers but she kept them locked on Joseph. Joseph’s didn’t hold any scrutiny, they kept her locked In place from where she was trapped against his skin. Her back to his chest. He pulled his arms around her to stop her from squirming. She was craning her neck to stare at him instead of John. 

She was hyper aware of John’s movement throughout the room. After a long period of him fidgeting to make sure everything was perfect, he slammed down on his knees in front of her. 

Once again he acted as if everything was normal. In one hand he brandished the Book Of Joseph, with the other he grabbed her jaw so she was looking at him. 

He took one last parting glance to his family gathered in the small space. With the book pressed firmly to his chest he leaned in closer towards her. 

“Our devoted, we are gathered here for those willing to bare witness to their sins. Will you Ryleigh Cartre place your hand upon the word of Joseph and renounce your sins and admit your transgressions?” He pulled back to present the white covered book to her. Joseph loosened his hold, allowing her to press her palm flat to their twisted version of a bible. 

“Yes.” Her voice wobbled. “Yes I’ll atone.” She remembers the same words coming out of Nick Rye’s mouth before his skin came off and was crudely stapled to the wall. That’d also be right before she gave chase to John which ended with him lying in the mud. She hadn’t checked for a pulse when he collapsed. Too preoccupied with making her way to his bunker to get Hudson. Not like any of that matters now. 

“Hold her still Joe, I don’t want this to hurt too bad.” She heard Jacob scoff behind her. He had shifted to be in her periphery. A constant source of calm, assuring her she’d be safe. This made her shoulders relax. 

By no means was John gentle. She was sure he never even heard of the word. He braced his hand by placing it directly above her wrath tattoo. John angled the knife to where he could score her skin. Like all she was at the moment was a flimsy art project. She felt a small amount of blood trickle around the slices he made. That she could handle. But when he moved the knife in a position that resembled the way you’d cut a piece of turkey, she started to tense. 

She was trembling. Joseph could feel each tremor that ran throughout her body. “Joe, calm her down, she’s gonna ruin this.” This was said through clenched teeth, she saw the beads of sweat running down his temple. 

Ryleigh moved her head upward to get a better view of John. Joseph fixed that by pressing underneath her jaw and pulling her back to where she started. For a moment she was able to slow her breathing. She could make out the shape of Jacob, leaning forward on his chair. 

From this close she focused on counting the colors in Joseph’s eyes. Anything that would act as a distraction. Her heart rate increased when she felt John’s hand back above her tattoo. She saw Joseph’s gaze flicker to John’s. What they did next had to have been done on purpose, no one has such impeccable timing. Because when John began to peel back at her skin and she gasped from the spark of pain, Joseph leaned down and kissed her. 

At first it was a simple brush of their lips, not a proper kiss. But when the pain increased he went to push themselves closer. The bruising grip he had on her tightened. He nipped at her lower lip, tongue skimming out along at the blood he had drawn. The whole encounter made her neck strain from the position they were in. 

When he pulled away Joseph kept his focus on her face. His entire demeanor was calmer. And she felt like a giddy school girl knowing that she was the one who made him look that way. 

“One down. Turn her around, let’s finish this tonight.”  
———————  
Jacob had offered to help with the next part. She was lying on the floor, her body stretched across Jacob’s lap. His arms acted as bars, thrown over her shoulder blades to keep her in place. Joseph was sitting further down on his knees, hands right above her butt, spanning across her hips, yet low enough not to interfere with John’s work. 

John repeated the same process of scoring her skin to make it easier to pull free. When she felt the blade begin to slide through her flesh she jerked and squirmed. Her head tipped to the side as much as she could to bury her face into Jacob’s hip. She felt Jacob’s arms twitch restlessly. A debate on whether he should move to comfort her. But it was over quicker then he could make a decision. 

A blinding flash of white covered her vision. Adrenaline must of kept her sane until now, but suddenly she felt each wound throb painfully. 

She was moved by Jacob’s hands, guiding her to sit on the bed. Ryleigh desperately wanted to lay down, to sleep off the pain. But with an open wound on her back that’d be impossible. 

Her and Jacob sat shoulder to shoulder. His fingers hung between his legs, clenched tight. Her vision was blurry, making it impossible to read his face. 

John held the flaps of skin in his grip, a manic smile on his face. He laughed cheerfully and came over to her, chucking her under the chin. She wanted to punch the smug look off his face. But she felt too weak to even raise her head to continue staring at him. Even with him out of her line of sight, she didn’t miss the words he spoke. The words that tore her apart and made her feel traitorous. 

“Welcome to Eden’s Gate.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the next couple of chapters I’ll be reciting from the book of Joseph. It may be actual quotes or just me retelling it in a summary version to make things shorter.

John left after he cleaned the place up. Taking his tools and wiping the floor clear of blood. Not like that did anything to erase to iron tang that the air still held. But he genuinely looked happy. Whistling as he exited and giving her one last smile before disappearing around the corner. 

Joseph and Jacob both stayed to help with the new wounds that she was graced with. Joseph stood back most of the time to watch his brother flit around her to provide any relief from the discomfort. 

When Jacob stepped out of the room in search for tylenol or advil, Joseph finally stepped forward to hold her hands tightly. “As much as I enjoy taking care of you, I don’t want this to become our norm.” He gestured to the bandages that wrapped around her body. “Interactions beyond healing you would be nice.” Upon hearing Jacob’s footsteps Joseph glanced at the parted door. “Maybe tonight you wouldn’t mind stopping in my room? I can read to you. Take your mind off of the pain.” Ryleigh worried her lip between her teeth, Joseph didn’t miss at how she winced from where his own bite had sunk in moments before. 

She watched Jacob hover to her right when he walked in. Arms cradling an assortment of pills. She ignored Jacob’s cold stare and simply nodded in response to Joseph. 

Jacob said try. She was trying. It was a mantra on repeat in her head. 

So when Ryleigh turned to look up at him she expected some sort of praise. Just those one worded things he’d saying during training...the training that made her kill Eli. But he said nothing. Eyes following Joseph as he closed the door softly behind him. 

“I didn’t know what would work or what you prefer. So I got...basically everything. John will be upset that I messed up his method of organization but he’ll get over it soon, it’s not like we’re short on time down here. It’ll just give him something to do” She watched him dump the bottles onto the bed, half of them landing in her lap. “I mean, he told me the other day he wanted to help and I suggested to alphabetize stuff...like the bookshelf or the kitchen and, well, the bathroom cabinets, but I didn’t think he’d actually do it, y'know ?” He gave her a tight lipped grin that looked painful. “Then again my brother has always been a bit of a wild card.”

He kept on with his jumpy conversation. There was a tension in his muscles that she couldn’t place.

Jacob moved before she could and began to place tiny capsules in his hand. “You can swallow pills right?” She was weary of speaking. Something was off with him and she didn’t want to make it worse. Instead, Ryleigh hummed an answer that was close enough to yes. 

He pushed four pills into her palm then shoved a bottle of water her way before turning to leave, taking his mini pharmacy with him. It was hard to miss how Jacob caught himself at the last second from slamming the door. 

She wasn’t sure what she held in her hand. If the dose was right or if she could mix different pills. Because she knew they weren’t all the same thing. But Jacob wouldn’t harm her. Not after everything he’s done. Throwing caution to the wind she downed the mixture of medication and layed on her stomach, pillow pushed under her folded arms.   
————————  
The first thing she realized when she woke up was the time. Tauntingly glaring back at her in all its bright green lit up glory. It was 12:36. It was midnight, going on 1 o’clock soon. How did she manage to sleep for so long? When she laid down it wasn’t even 2 pm yet. 

Her arms struggled to hold her weight as she climbed to her feet and stretched. This sucked. There was no way anyone was awake. She’d be alone at night, bored out of her mind. The thought made her grind her teeth together. 

Ryleigh pushed open her door, weary of the creaking noises it made despite being new. Her destination when she stepped out of the hallway was unclear. She was too wired to be sitting in bed. The one upside of this situation being that she could roam the bunker just as she would if she was back home. No noises to remind her of what was really happening. And it truly felt like home again from the way she was without socks or pants and had on Jacob’s shirt which touched as little skin as possible. 

Her fingertips brushed the wall as she walked down the hall. She took a sweeping gaze around the place before her eyes landed on Joseph’s door. She still avoided entering there. 

It brought back memories of Dutch and the resistance. How she was so scared to be zip tied to a bed post with an old army vet threatening to hand her in after hearing what Joseph was saying of the radio. Then came the newer memories with her first night resulting in a panic attack huddled in a heap on the floor as Joseph tried calming her down. 

She was so lost in the horror show playing behind her eyes that she almost missed the sliver of light that peeked under Joseph’s door. 

It could be nothing. Maybe he fell asleep with the light on by accident. Or it’s just a normal thing for him, she’s never wandered at night and wouldn’t know if he’s scared of the dark. Then again, the ever conservative man that Joseph is wouldn't be as reckless as to leave the lights on all night. 

Wait.

It came back quickly. Right before she dozed off from the pills she took, Joseph had offered to read to her. The kind man he was, he thought some quality time would help with the pain she was feeling. And she accepted. But whatever Jacob gave her made her fall asleep faster than she thought, and for a really long time. 

In bare feet she crept over to his room and pushed her ear to the door. Palms laid flat on its surface. She pressed her eye to the side of the door where a small slit ran down the length of it, giving her a tiny window into his room. Looking around she could see the beginning of Joseph’s leg, bouncing up and down restlessly from where he was sitting in a chair. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but he was most definitely awake. 

Ryleigh knocked twice, eye still placed over the crack. She saw him stiffen in surprise before rushing over. She pulled back quickly, but caught sight of The Book Joseph held at his side. 

When the door opened she saw the delight flicker over his face. His hand found the small of her back and ushered her through the threshold of the door. 

“I was beginning to believe you changed your mind.” She froze where she stood, eyes lingering for a moment on the flag posted over the radio. Changed from an American flag to The Project’s. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Joseph grab the chair and pull it to the side of the bed. He sat and waited for her to move. She forced her legs to go towards Joseph and collapsed on the bed, head down. He moved to place his hand on her knee. “Did you still want to? You’re not harming me if you refuse, I’m not forcing you to listen to this if you don’t want to.” Ryleigh took his words in. Registering the undercurrent of hurt that was in his voice. She wasn’t aware that he would be reading from The Book of Joseph, but considering she was now apart of the project it made sense. 

She moved to lie beneath the covers, Joseph brightened at the fact that she was saying yes to this whole ordeal. 

Before she could protest Joseph moved around to the side of the bed and climbed in next to her. She startled, turning around so she was lying on her side. Joseph saw the way she hissed between her teeth from her injuries. His hand came up on her shoulder to push her back, “Please, get comfortable, this is meant to be a learning experience as well as an enjoyable one too.” Ryleigh acquiesce to his demand and let herself fall back into the mattress. 

With the blankets drawn up to her chin she nodded at him once, indicating he could start. 

“The messenger is often attacked for delivering bad news. You will hear a great deal about me. People will tell you that I am a liar, a cheat, a con man, a mad man, and even a murderer. People will tell you anything and everything, because I am the bearer of bad news, because I am the messenger. I am the one who must warn you of the ending of this world and gather the chosen ones who will build the next world. If you want to live, you need to ignore the slander. You need to believe me. You need to follow me.” 

The opening sequence described everything too well. It made everything seem justifiable. If written down, the plan he was posing doesn’t appear harmful. He was a philanthropist wanting to help the world. But she, like so many others, witnessed what the project was capable of first hand. Maybe the Seeds didn’t mean for it to take a drastic turn into torture and death, but it did. And it kept getting worse. 

The first thing he read told of a time from his childhood. This made her listen close. She was unaware of the horrors he and his brothers had to face. Right from the start it sounded absurd. With him reading that their neighbors referred to their father as Old Mad Seed. 

He read to her of their father’s drinking problem, how he came home to beat Jacob because he was the oldest and was supposed to be the responsible one, to keep the younger kids in place. 

It made Ryleigh cringe to hear him say that at 7 years old he faced 25 lashes all because he went and indulged in spider man comics. 

“...And if you want to know why I remember that scorching day in June so clearly, it’s because that was the first day that the Voice spoke to me.”

Ryleigh’s heart hammered in her chest. Knuckles fisting the sheets below her. She scrambled to claw off the blankets, now seeming too hot. She just barely registered Joseph’s look of concern. She pushed off his hands and told her she had to use the bathroom. “Give me 5 minutes Joseph, I swear it won’t take any longer than that.”

When she finally was able to lock the door to the bathroom she tumbled onto the floor on her knees. She had every intention on going back to listen to Joseph. But it was hitting her hard. It made her think that she might have understood them more, felt compassionate, if she knew how rough their lives were. That wouldn’t of changed the fact that they were breaking the law though. Maybe in a different time she would have been in the same position as Nancy. 

The tears that trekked down her face were too hot. She was still sweating. Christ, she couldn’t get the mental image of a small, defenseless Joseph being whipped like an animal out of her head. She swore that if she concentrated hard enough she could see Jacob standing in the way of his younger brother’s, promising to protect them. Taking each beating just to make sure they remained unharmed. They stood together during those years, the collective abuse making their bond stronger. 

It made her wonder what split them up. She at least assumed they got split up. From what she heard people saying from passing conversations, John was a lawyer, Joseph was homeless, bouncing around to different jobs and of course Jacob was in the army. At some point their lives got twisted up and they were in very different situations. 

Her back pressed firmly up against the door as she tried to quiet her breathing. How the hell was she supposed to walk out there and not give all three of them looks of pity? She had a feeling they wouldn’t take her pity. Not after all she did. 

Ryleigh clutched her skull and closed her eyes. 

She was sorry she ever tried.


	17. Chapter 17

She stumbled out of the bathroom five minutes later, just like she promised. She didn’t bother waiting extra time until the splotchy redness was gone or for the puffiness around her eyes to go away. Joseph would know what’s wrong no matter what, he had a knack for that. 

Joseph was still lying in bed when she came back. His expression was unclear in the half light, but he beckoned her to come back, pulling at the covers to help her climb in. 

Ryleigh squirmed closer to Joseph until their shoulders were touching. He didn’t protest. She clung to his arm, giving it a light squeeze. “Keep going. I’m fine, I wanna hear.”

His gaze lingered on her for another beat before reading again. She propped up on her elbows to follow along with the text. A large roman numeral two stood out in bold letters. 

“He who ignores the low flight of the bird, the darkening skies, and the taste of iron in the blowing wind deserves the thunder and lightning that will rain down upon him.” He passed another glance at her before flicking to the next page. Her muddled mind picked up on bits and pieces of what he was saying. “Why should I be any more believable? How am I any different? Probably because I’m not here to talk about saving your soul. I’m here to talk about saving the human race, here and now, on this earth.” 

Absentmindedly Joseph’s hand stroked over her hair. Occasionally lingering down to her temple. 

Once again his voice soothed her mind. Lulling her into a sleepy state. Soon his words were getting louder, reminding her of how he sounded when she busted through his church doors. His whole demeanor was confident. “What if you knew from the instant we met that I wasn’t just another fool at the crossroads? If I too dream of restoring the world’s original beauty and harmony—if you had the faith and the drive—then join me, and you will survive the cataclysm that is upon us. To live again in the Garden of Eden. The way we did before.”

She was practically asleep on his arm. Her head perked up when he paused for too long. Joseph was looking down at her, face calm. He moved to put a bookmark in where he stopped and tossed the book on the floor. He moved to cradle her body so when he spoke again it was reduced to a whisper. “What are you thinking about?”

Ryleigh curled up into his touch. Thoughts whirling around. Where would she start? It was a lot to take in at one time. 

Her eyes locked with his and she moved to press a kiss to his cheek, making him shudder. “I’m so sorry. No one should have to endure that. But you did, you and your brothers. And you made it out relatively unscathed.” At the last part she saw him wince and turn away. It made her bite her lip. She hadn’t heard the full story, maybe they were worse off then she thought. 

“Ryleigh, are you starting to understand the purpose of Eden’s Gate?” Their foreheads thumped together. 

“I understand you’re not as mad as everyone says you are.” It wasn’t a proper answer. Definitely not the one he was looking for. But he didn’t push her for more, the breakdown she had earlier still fresh in his mind. 

She tossed him a smile, making no move to get up. She looked over at the door. Suddenly Joseph’s hand was on her jaw, pushing her mouth open. “Are you missing a tooth?” Her body tensed as she batted his hands away. She couldn’t tell him what happened. He had just ranted on the perfection of the project and now she was supposed to tell him that his blind followers tortured her? It would break his heart. Everything he worked so hard to achieve. Now his people were falling apart and going on vigilante missions. 

“Do you know what happened to me while we were gone Joseph? The full extent of it all? Sure..you were the one to help with my wounds, but you don’t really understand all that those men did.” She wanted to say more. Really let loose on the anger she felt. Instead she pressed closer to him. Just this night she could forget what he stood for. They could lie here as man and woman. She was fine with stripping them of their titles as cult leader and deputy. It wouldn’t hurt if for one night she forgot that they were supposed to be on different sides of the war. 

Joseph moved to turn off the bright lamp which illuminated the room. In total darkness she couldn’t see his face. Her only indication of where he was at was through touch. He held her to his body, chin resting on top of her head. “You can tell me. I’m not here to judge.” 

With her head buried into his chest she weighed her options. “Like a confession?” 

“If you’ve sinned, then it would be a confession. If not, then this is merely a conversation between two friends.”

She moved to grab his hands. In the dark, without being able to see his expressions she could do this. It was like a proper confessional booth. Almost like she was keeping anonymity. 

“I know what you think of me. How you looked at me when you saw those hickeys and bites. I’m surprised you didn’t tell John to mark me for lust as well.”

“That wouldn’t have been my sin to confess, Ryleigh.”

The use of her name reminded her what he said before. This was a conversation. She tried to imagine how she would tell one of her friends. 

“Fine. Okay. I’m lustful. Is that what you wanted to hear? That they tied me up and—and—“ suddenly she pressed closer to him. Nosing at his pulse. “Christ Joseph, don’t make me say it.” He heard the whine in her voice, the hiccups that hitched her words. 

“You didn’t want that, did you?”  
“It doesn’t matter, they took it anyway. That’s lust.”  
Joseph clicked his tongue. Was he mad? She couldn’t handle him being angry with her. 

“Darling that’s not your sin, it’s theirs.” He felt her shake her head, and tears splash on his chest. “I promise you. That’s not your sin to carry.” Joseph wouldn’t lie to her. He had it be right. 

Ryleigh squirmed out of his tight grip to sit up. She heard him move, then the lamp clicking on. It threw distorted images across the walls. Joseph placed his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll ask you to stay, but don’t feel obliged to accept Ryleigh. In this bunker you’ve got choices. Down here no one will dare force you.” A sob choked it’s way up her throat at his kindness. The relief that washed over her was threatening to drown her. 

She fell into his arms with little resistance. Once again the light was turned off. 

“Joseph, for what’s it worth, I’m really glad you and your brothers made it out of that house alive.”  
——————-  
Her body jerked awake at someone tugging at her wrist. Frantically she looked up to be met with Jacob. On any normal occasion she would have been ecstatic. Except now he looked pissed off. Just simply annoyed. She wanted it make a move to wake Joseph up, but Jacob hauled her to her feet before she was able to. 

“Don’t wake him up, it’s too early for that.” That’s the only explanation she got before being dragged into another room.

She was pushed into a chair, the radio placed in front of her. Her eyes were wide with curiosity. Jacob moved to crouch down next to her. 

“Your friend, Dutch right? He had a book of all these radio frequencies for your people. I started going through them, just to see who’s alive. Maybe it was the boredom finally kicking in.” Her heart pounded hopefully in her chest. He might’ve found someone. God, she'd give anything just to hear someone else’s voice. A voice that would dig up memories of a time where they were feeling on top of the world as they went to take another outpost. 

He saw the far away look in her eyes and squeezed her shoulder painfully. “Now why did I call a group of people who were in the middle of talking about saving your ass? Please tell me how the fuck they knew you were here or that “those self righteous pricks” were here with you?” She almost laughed, a number of her friends would refer to the Seeds that way. 

It was a public channel. All those times Joseph preached maybe one of her friends were listening and heard her crying out in the first week. They often put the radio in the room where she was tied up, and at first she could care less if any of the Peggie’s heard her pleas. Strange to think such a small thing that happened months ago would let others know she was alive. 

But the celebration was short lived when she glanced back over to Jacob’s face. “You tell your friends anything you need to get them to come here peacefully. I don’t need them throwing in fucking tear gas and shooting us dead.”

“What? Couldn’t I just tell them not to come. You’d be surprised at how easily they listen.” That was lie. She didn’t doubt that the people she knew could read her well enough to know when she was bluffing. 

“That’s not what I asked is it? I don’t care what you need to say, go ahead and lie all you want, you have my blessing.” Jacob stood then moved to be behind her. A hand pressed into her shoulder. “I’ll be damned before anyone takes you from us.” The tightening of his hand on her shoulder wasn’t meant to be menacing, but it made her stiffen up with fear all the same. 

“Who is it? Who am I calling?”

“Quite the surprise to me honestly, it seems like your dear co-worker Pratt took it upon himself to lead this mission. There’s some others, but I never bothered to learn their names, so get to talking.”


	18. Chapter 18

The notepad in front of her listed out all those who Pratt told her was alive.

Nick, Kim and their daughter  
Sharky  
Adelaide  
Jess 

There had to be more. Maybe they were lying low or they didn’t have a radio to use. She just couldn’t fathom that everyone else was gone. Sure, she thanked God that the baby was spared, but so many good people went up in smoke. 

She was leaning back against the couch after she finished talking to Pratt. There were tears, bonding over their mutual loss. Then came the fear, rambling on about how this was so surreal. The conversation steered in the direction of her rescue. Could she even call it that? No...not when she was starting to care for these people. 

Jacob didn’t say what his plan was once they got here. Because they had agreed to come get her. It’d take two weeks until they got to Dutch’s Island. She convinced herself that Jacob wouldn’t harm them, not when it would break their bond. Then again, he still seemed upset. She wasn’t stupid. It was easy to trace his agitated state up to after her confession. After Joseph kissed her. She didn’t know too much on whether Jacob was the type to hold grudges. 

That didn’t matter though, not when Ryleigh was laughing again. Hearing Pratt’s voice put her in a good mood. Which is why her feet were bouncing with energy. Something that caught Joseph off guard when he finally woke up to make breakfast. She urged to leap up and tell him. She had an image in her mind of him sharing in her excitement. She’d spin him round while holding onto his upper arms. But she stayed seated. There’s no telling how he’d react. 

 

Jacob was the one to tell John and Joseph. The walls weren’t exactly thick. Each snippet of a sentence she could make out had her shaking. 

“...God, how stupid…”  
“Yeah, well we don’t know if she’s…”  
“...we’re not the aggressors anymore huh?”

Her shoulders were bunched around her neck by the time John came bounding into the room. Fast strides and a determined look in his eyes. He moved to sit next to her, fidgeting for a moment before grabbing her hands. His thumb smoothed over her knuckles. “You trust me right?”

It made her suck in a breath. This was a gentle subject. The look he gave her was open and honest, eyes wavering across her face. She squeezed his hands. “Yes.” The laugh he let out was sincere. He threw a triumphant glance over his shoulder to Jacob, who leaned in the doorway. 

“Good, so you’re gonna trust me with your friends right? When they come over...you’ll trust me to take care of them?” She swallowed thickly. Try. But she didn’t want to. There was too much on the line this time. 

It was too easy to say yes.  
——————  
That night the boys hovered over the table. She stood watching, not getting close enough to listen. Ryleigh didn’t want to hear it. She stalked back to her room, pacing the floor. 

She laid down on the bed, arm over her eyes. Whose side was she on at this point? Going back to her friends to have a tearful reunion sounded wonderful. Her mind swirled images around of what’d it would be like. And just like that she found herself smiling. 

“What’s got you so happy?”

It’s the kind of question she figured would have some teasing tone to it. Though she swore there was something else lying under the surface. It sounded too close to an accusation. All the same, she recognized Jacob’s voice and pulled her arm back to get a better look at him. His face revealed nothing, not like that was new. 

She swung her feet off the bed and motioned him to sit. The door was already closed and he stood halfway in her room, making her wonder how long he was watching her. 

Jacob kept his distance when he sat. Head in his hands he blew out a long breath through his nose. “I can’t figure you out.” She perked up, flinching at his words. “One minute you’re more than happy to be by our side and the next you’re ready to get the fuck out.” He jabbed a finger onto her shoulder, “Does anyone’s emotions matter to you? Do you think for a second that what might make you happy while ruin the lives of three people simultaneously?” He leaned close to her, hand holding the back of her neck. “Fair warning, my brother’s have no doubt you’ll stay with us in the end. But I need you to really think about this. You’ve got time. Two weeks.” Jacob went to tip their heads together so they could kiss. Dirty move on his part. He knew that she treasured moments where he let his walls down just for her. That was the point though, giving her one last taste of all she could have. When he broke away his eyes were still shut, savoring the close proximity. “In the end you’ll make the right choice, your instincts, your subconscious, will make the decision that you might not want to admit now.”

Jacob stood slowly, watching her struggle. Her hands twitched at her sides. Wanting to reach back to him, tell him how much she hated seeing him hurt. Her lip trembled and she bit it roughly. He gave a small smile at the conflict playing out on her face, “You’re gonna make the right choice even if you need help seeing what it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: The next chapter will contain smut, definitely more than a kiss


	19. Chapter 19

For the next thirty minutes she just sat staring at the walls. God she wanted them, these men in this bunker who drove her every action, she wanted them so badly it ached. If she stayed she could easily sit by their sides. Ask for comfort they were more than happy to give. All that would go away if she found out how to escape with her friends. Still, each time the pros of leaving outweighed the cons. 

Ryleigh stood on quaking feet. She wanted out. Out of this fucking confined space with people who still didn’t feel like family. But Jacob said it himself, he’d push her in the ‘right’ direction. She hated the idea of being coerced. Because he wouldn’t exactly force her...he’d only fuck with her mind until she couldn’t help but listen to his every command. She wanted some choice in the matter. She considered how hard it would be to make him think she wanted to stay on her own free will. Then he wouldn’t have an excuse to play mind games. From the methods that come to mind, it should be easy to make him believe that she wanted to stay. He was only a man after all. She could convince him where her loyalties lie. 

She knew that most days Jacob stays in his room, so she wasn’t surprised at all to see him working on something at his desk. 

She tried to be quiet when approaching him, but he spoke before she had reached him. “What do you need Ryleigh?” His head was still down. She hesitated. The feeling of confidence she had earlier was slowly leaving her system now that she was facing him.

Giving one last look to make sure the door was closed, she crossed the small space and pulled Jacob up until he was standing. She saw the twitch of his lips, the annoyance that sparked in his eyes. Going on her tiptoes she kissed him. His response was lackluster, head tipped to the side at the suddenness of it all. “You don’t have to—“ 

“Jacob. I need this.” His indecision was evident before he led her to the bed, lying her out below him. Ryleigh pulled him so he could straddle her. His gaze kept returning to her face. She waited several moments for him to move. But his hands stayed braced on her hips. “You said you need this, pup. Not want. Need.” He leaned forward until their noses bumped. “Why do you need this?” 

Of course. He wouldn’t have it be easy. He had to insist on why she wanted to kiss him and hold him close. Exactly what kind of man was she dealing with?

“I need this because...cause you need to see that I’ll stay. That even if my friends come for me, I’ll still want to be here.” Jacob pulled back. He squeezed her waist before pulling himself off her. That was her cue to leave. To Jacob’s credit he did help her up, offering his hand. 

She made a move to exit immediately, trying to save some of her pride. Jacob reached for her arm, pulling her around to face him. “You don’t have to do that. There’s no reason to show your loyalty that way. When you’ve got a choice to make, whatever you pick, that’ll show me how devoted you are.”

The defeat she felt, even after Jacob’s reassurances, hung heavy over her head. It was enough to catch Joseph’s attention when he was making his way back to his bedroom. 

“You look distressed. I know these past days have been eventful.” She nodded along with his sympathetic look. It’s been so long since Joseph offered to hear her out all the issues she faced. That was probably because she always said no. Now though, if she asked, it might get her somewhere. 

That train of thought is what led her to be sitting at the head of Joseph’s bed. He brought a fresh brew of tea for them both along with small snacks. 

Apparently John loves to cook, even if Joseph is the one always preparing the meals. John was quite adamant about them trying his hors d’œuvres. These ridiculously small sandwiches that made her heart swell to see each one crafted with such care. He had caught her and Joseph walking into his room and quickly prepared the meal before they went to disappear. From where she sat on Joseph’s bed she saw him working methodically, strands of hair hanging in his eyes that he brushed away every few seconds. The way he presented the sandwiches on the best plate he could find, one hand on his hip, the other holding the food up to Joseph, It made her think that it wouldn’t hurt to stay if she could see more moments like that. 

She shook that thought out quickly. She wanted to get out. That’s the whole reason she agreed to talk to Joseph. If Jacob didn’t want to hear her out, maybe he would. Sure, Jacob also said his brother’s believe in her, but it wouldn’t hurt. 

Joseph placed the snacks on the same table that held the drinks, off to the side of the bed. This was meant to be private, he assured her they wouldn’t be interrupted. She cringed at the thought of one of his brothers walking in, “Maybe you should leave a sock on the door, or a tie.” 

He blinked.

“So they wouldn’t disturb us. I think they’d laugh too considering that it means—“ 

“I get it.” She could see the hint of a smile on his face as he tried to keep his composure. “Trust me I don’t need you to explain it.” This time he laughed. Leaning forward, chest heaving. “No...trust me, I really don’t think they’d like that.” 

Sitting across from her at the foot of the bed he smiled at her, handing her a cup of tea and quietly sipping his own. “Okay. I’m ready whenever you are Ryleigh.”

Her heart pounded in anticipation. She didn’t rehearse what to say. And he didn’t start off the conversation. Apparently content to just sit there and wait. 

“Joseph, If I told you I wanted to show you how faithful I am to the project, would you let me?” This had him place his cup to the side. He swallowed, leaning back into a more comfortable position so he was on his back, being supported by his elbows, knees bent. He examined her face before tipping his head back, exposing his neck. “That depends. I’ve had many people show me how faithful they are to the project, all in their own ways. From whatever means they see fit. What are you implying? In my mind I thought you already showed us your devotion.” 

Ryleigh shifted. Hands wringing nervously in her lap. “How did I show you that?”

His head snapped up. “You’ve brought back my brother John from that wasteland up there. He told me of how attentive you were too. You care about us, so in turn you care about the project.” He flashed a smile at her. 

Once again he tipped his head back, chin pointed up. This time around he had splayed his legs, knees still bent slightly. One of his feet were braced on her thigh. She traced patterns on his bare foot, seeing tiny spider web like scars. She watched his expression closely. His eyes were closed, there was a small smile at his lips

This was different, but it could work. Doing something with Joseph would be strange. Especially if he turned her down, it’d make for awkward encounters for the next few days. 

Still, she made her move. She took his foot off her thigh, placing it on the mattress next to her. Ryleigh counted three Mississippi’s until she crept forward. On hands and knees she crawled up the space between his legs. The entire time she waited for him to stop her or at least ask what the hell she was doing. Surely he felt the weight of the bed dip down.

The space between his legs until she reached his torso wasn’t large. Too soon she found herself close against him, she could feel the heat his body gave off. Her hands moved to touch his bare chest. She could feel the fast pace of his heart and was surprised to see the facade of composure slipping. There was a jumpiness beneath his skin. She saw his muscles roll and twitch from up close. The tendons in his neck were pulled taut. 

She moved again, concerned that he wasn’t responding. If this was truly for the purpose of earning trust, of making him put his guard down, then she wanted this to be fast. Because when she ran in the opposite direction of these people, she didn’t want any emotional strings attached.

Her hands made quick work of his belt, then she unzipped his pants. She let her fingers brush over the small sliver of underwear that was visible. When she glanced up again she saw Joseph’s heavy lidded gaze on her. “You truly are a test of my faith Ryleigh. You’ve tempted me for so long and now you’re offering yourself up just for Eden’s Gate. I’ve spent weeks asking for guidance on what to do with you. I haven’t been given the answers that I hoped would come to me. So perhaps this isn’t lust, but love. God intended me to love you. And if that’s the case,” he moved faster than she anticipated, pulling her hands away and flipped their position, pushing her into the mattress, “Then we are going to do this properly. Like a couple consummating their marriage.” 

Joseph knew exactly what he was doing. It was a strange sight. Something about such a religious man being a good lover was a thing she only dreamt about. But the deliberate way he undressed her was driving her mad. Each lingering touch as he removed her clothes was covered in honey. He stroked her face, lips brushing hers, but never fully kissing her. 

When he had her down to nothing he worked on himself. Even when she reached to help he pushed her back down, happy to leave her to take in the view. 

It’s not like he was wearing much to begin with. But he rose to finish the job she had started. Tossing the clothes in the small pile he had made when taking off hers. 

Once he climbed into bed again she was ready. She felt the curl of arousal in her stomach. But Joseph said he wanted to do this right. So even if her lack of sex in the past months insisted they rut like animals, he took it slow. Everything about this encounter moved at a snail's pace. 

He started with a soft kiss to her lips before going down. Never sucking hard enough to leave any marks. He nipped at her collar bone, hand moving to hold hers where they were fisting at the sheets. His mouth kept going down, placing open mouthed kisses between her breasts. Joseph peered up at her, seeing her head pushed back into the pillow. His empty hand moved to make her nipples perky, which he then replaced with the warmth of his mouth. She arched her chest up into him, holding onto his head. 

He laughed at her eagerness. “We’ve got all the time we need, don’t worry.” Joseph sat on his knees to look at her panting, squirming form. She spread her legs wide for him. An action which had his eyes dilating to where she could no longer see the ring of blue that she had come to know. 

His hands gripped her knees when he dove between her thighs. The softness he had started off with was gone. The spell between them broken as he finally moved faster, eager to please, eager to hear more whimpers out of her mouth. Joseph’s tongue explored her, his fingers pumped inside of her, crooking up into her walls. His tongue kept laving at her clit which had engorged beneath his touch. When he pulled back she saw the sheen of slick on his chin. 

While he lined himself up his fingers kept playing with her nub, pulling her back from the edge of her orgasm. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

She threw her legs around his waist and grabbed onto his shoulders. Her mouth gave well placed bites that he’d be able to hide, provided he wore a shirt. “Just fuck me already Joseph.” The intake of breath he gave was music to her ears. 

He reverted back to being gentle. Going slow, stopping once the tip was inside, only continuing when she bucked her hips. With each thrust he filled her more, stretching her walls and making her moan. Joseph stopped again when he was halfway in. Not for her benefit this time. It made her wonder how long it had been since he had sex. Or masturbated for that matter. Cause in that moment she could see how painfully close he was and he wasn’t even fully inside her.

She reached up to brace her hands on his shoulders and moved her hips again, this stirred something inside him. A more feral part that had him snapping his hips forcefully towards her. It had her whining for more. 

Only a few thrusts in and the nerves Joseph had toyed with were rekindled. Her orgasm was approaching fast. Before she could drop a hand between her legs, he was already spreading her folds. He rubbed her softly, eyes shut. “C’mon Joseph, please.” He whimpered from the pleasure of her walls clenching down on him, which she did on purpose just to spur him on. And it worked. His hand moved in quick, tight circles on her clit until she was writhing in his arms. Her cunt tightened down on him, making him spill into her. 

They stayed like that. Her legs wrapped around him. His eyes closed. Her head thrown back. It took too long for him to pull out, making cum drip down her thighs. 

He collapsed next to her, pulling both of them under the blankets. She knew she’d regret not washing off first but Joseph was spooning her, giving extra warmth and affection with the way he was kissing down the side of her neck, occasionally pulling at the lobe of her ear. 

She pressed more into his back, eyes landing on the tray before she drifted off. A frown twitched on her face as a sudden realization hit her. 

“John’s gonna be pissed we didn’t eat his damn sandwiches.”


	20. Chapter 20

She woke earlier than Joseph, who was holding onto her tightly. Already she could identify the noises of John and Jacob moving around. Ryleigh moved to get up, mustering the courage to walk out. They couldn’t know. God, the judgement she’d face. Plus the explanation Jacob would want. 

It was surprisingly easy to climb out of Joseph’s grasp. He sighed once, opening his eyes drowsily. When he saw her standing, struggling to get changed as fast as possible, he sat up. With his legs dangling over the bed he watched her critically. “You do understand why I said yes to last night don’t you?” She was halfway to the door when he asked. Ryleigh figured she caught him at a bad time, he had a moment of weakness, which was lucky for her if she really wanted to manipulate him to let her go. 

She turned to look at him. “That wasn’t lust Ryleigh. I need you to believe me. I finally heard what The Voice intended me to. If He wants me to love you, then I won’t hesitate to. You are here to aid my family. You’re here to provide love.” Joseph rose, completely unashamed by his nakedness. He moved with the same calmness he always did when collecting his clothes and getting dressed. 

For some reason it felt wrong to leave. He just declared that night as something to be shared between a couple, not a man who cracked under normal pressure. Did he believe what he preached, or was he making excuses for himself so he wouldn’t have to admit to his sin?

Joseph fixed his hair before opening the door and gesturing for her to exit first.

John turned the corner, head down, whistling, he caught sight of Ryleigh and smiled wide. If he noticed their disheveled appearance, he didn’t say anything. 

“Ah, look who’s up, Jacob wants a word with you two, he’s in his room.” She had an urge to ask what Jacob told him, if anything. They were brothers after all, so if he was mad there’s a good chance he’d vent to John. She didn’t have time to get a word out, John was already turning around to leave. He stopped for a second, turning quick and going to cup her cheek where he placed a chaste kiss there. She made a low squeak in the back of her throat, risking a look to Joseph behind her. He only had a look of fondness on his face at the action of his brother. Joseph reached to squeeze her shoulder, “Charity is a virtue, isn’t it darling?”

He wanted to share her. Like a toy. He really wasn’t joking when he told her that she was here for his family. And considering how he mentioned The Voice...the man was losing it.

Ryleigh pushed open Jacob’s door without a second thought. 

He was waiting expectantly for them, sitting on a chair that was angled to the bed. “Glad you could join me, considering that you guys must’ve been real busy, huh?” 

Joseph was the first one to enter, pushing past Ryleigh. “Jacob, I hear the malice in your tone and I’m asking for you to listen.” Jacob nodded his head once. “I don’t know what you’re thinking right now—“ Jacob scoffed, standing up. 

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking Joe, how the hell could you just—“ he made a strangled noise, mixing between concern and disgust, “You guys weren’t exactly quiet last night. Whatever happened to your ‘no fornication’ bullshit?” 

“Jacob. I heard The Voice.”

Jacob stared at him. If it was John she could imagine they’d both be happy, ready to celebrate. But not Jacob, the less religious of the three from what she gained. He seemed to be along for the ride and not an avid believer. “And The Voice told you to fuck a girl who’s clearly hurting?” Jacob’s eyes connected with her’s. “Ryleigh, I know I should’ve comforted you last night. I could tell how conflicted you were. So, I went looking for you. I saw you needed help, someone to assure you that there was no need to prove your loyalty by offering your body. That we would be there for you no matter what. You had to understand that you’re apart of the family now…and what I heard coming from Joseph’s room..for fucks sake Joe..why?” 

Joseph breathed out of his nose slowly. Composing himself. Trying not to get upset at his brother’s language. “The Voice told me of Ryleigh’s purpose. It didn’t exactly say to make love to her...but that’s how I interpreted it and The Voice has never led me astray.” The way Joseph stressed the words ‘make love,’ instead of using Jacob’s term of ‘fucking,’ showed how their views differed. 

Jacob walked closer to his brother, he was looking at him like he’d gone crazy. He had to put up with Joseph’s rambling for a while, but this was crossing the line. This was taking advantage of someone just to fit them into your agenda. He’s done it before with all the Faiths they had, but Jacob thought it would stop now. “I need to talk to Ryleigh for a second.”

Joseph glanced between the pair of them, incredulous. “But...Jacob, you get it don’t you!” He looked manic, opposed to all the other times Ryleigh had seen him. He was desperate for his brother’s approval. Jacob gave a thin smile and nodded. Placing a hand on his shoulder to guide him out. 

When the door was shut he rounded on her. She braced herself for his yelling. Instead she found herself wrapped in a bear hug. His face was pressed into her hair. “I don’t know if my brother’s crazy or not...I do know that he believes he talks to some divine power. So what’s your excuse?” She squirmed in his arms. Her breathing stuttered. He’d be so mad if she told the truth. She couldn’t exactly say that she only wanted to sleep with them so that when she made a break for it they’d be more likely to let her go. 

“I told you why I wanted to have sex—“ He shushed her. 

“Did you really want it? Could you classify it as something you wanted if your intentions were for your own personal gain instead of actual lust? Because you told me that you needed it. Not wanted.” He pulled back to look down at her. “What’s going on with you pup?” 

He knew. He had to. Jacob was giving her an opportunity to tell the truth. “Ryleigh, you don’t love Joseph, or any of us for that matter. So what would you gain out of it?” She sucked in a breath. No, she wasn’t going down that lane. 

Jacob chucked, letting her go and ruffling her hair. “You know all about classical conditioning now don’t you? Why, you’ve even experienced it first hand. You should know ‘bout as well as I do how well that shit works, how you can’t control anything you’re doing once that song’s going.” He flashed a feral smile at her and began to hum Only you.

He hummed it before, has been since they got down here. But it was slowed down, broken and distorted, never really putting her under his spell. Now though, with the song playing regularly from his throat, she felt hazy. 

Suddenly he stopped. He was sitting down on his bed, leaning forward and watching her. “Now I chose to make soldiers out of classical conditioning. People have used it for other reasons. More ethical reasons I guess. Hell, If I really wanted to, I could condition the truth to spill right out of those lips of yours. I could have you work by John when he has a little talk with your friends. And there isn’t a damn thing you’d be able to do about it.” 

Her heart was pounding, a pain was swelling in her chest. It was too much. It had been so long since she had someone threaten her. There were tears at her eyes. 

Jacob smiled. “I don’t want to do that. It was so painful for you the first time wasn’t it?” He stood to move over to her and tip her jaw up so they were staring at each other. “No...you’ve never quite been the same. Be careful of what choices you make from here on in. I may care about you honey, but my brothers take first priority.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. I rewrote this chapter like three times and it’s still not how I want it

Her legs were shaking when she walked out of Jacob’s room. The only thing keeping her grounded was the thought of her friend’s faces. She tried to tune out what Jacob said, the threats he gave as his parting words. 

She can remember when John had come to her asking to be the one to greet their new guests once they arrived. He’d hurt them, what else did he know besides inflicting pain? A perfect reason for why she was okay with giving her body over for just a few weeks. If it meant her friends wouldn’t be harmed then she would do it over and over again. 

It had only been four days since she had last spoken to Pratt. She lied to him. All the while Jess Sharky and Adelaide were listening in. Apparently squashed together in a corner keeping as quiet as possible while Nick and Kim tried to put their daughter to sleep. As much as it pained her to, she had no choice but to lie. She couldn’t do much with Jacob over shoulder.

She told them how safe it’d be, that the Seeds weren’t much of a threat. How she had them wrapped around her finger. “Honest Addie, you’d be proud of how obedient they are.” Her statement was followed by the sound of Adelaide and Sharky giving loud high fives, as well as shouts of “I told you so!” 

She lied to them when she said they could walk right in with ease, no fighting. Ryleigh was ashamed to feel a sense of pride with how easy the words tripped off her tongue. “Joseph’s been going on and on about how the time for violence has ended. Peace with our neighbors. Crap like that.” They sounded like they bought it. She hoped they could sense the fear in her voice. Maybe her words sounded off, or a little strained. Anything that might ring alarm bells. For fucks sake, Jess was a hunter, she’s supposed to be observant. 

 

In about seven days they were expected to arrive, give or take. Already she missed them. Especially Pratt, if only for the fact that he brought back thoughts of being a normal deputy. The newbie that they forced to make coffee runs. Though their teasing words weren’t really forcing her to hop in her car to get some actual good coffee instead of the crap the station supplied. No, she didn’t learn real force until she encountered Eden’s Gate. 

She yearned for Addie’s strange penchant for hypothetical sexually situations to kill time. It was girl talk at its purest form. The same habits seemed to befall Sharky at some points too. Usually just to point out how badly John was lusting after her. 

Ryleigh recalls trying to keep Addie and Sharky the fuck away from each other. Because when the three of them all got to talking, shit got weird real fast. That’s not to say she doesn’t love them both. All their quirks that made her cry the first few weeks for thinking she’d never get to hear them again. Honestly it’d be refreshing to feel Sharky swing an arm around her waist to pull her close. They used to get stared at by strangers all the time when they stumbled down the street together, bodies close. Though even suggest something intimate was going on between the two of them and they’d recoil real quick. It happened once and Sharky didn’t bother to hide his revulsion. “Look dude, it’s not you, Addie said you’d make a great fuck, ha..her words not mine, but we’re like too related without actually being related yknow?”

She was waiting eagerly for the Rye’s. To get a chance to hold her goddaughter. This would give her time to at least figure out the girl’s name. The Rye’s to her were like parents in a way. Someone she could look up to. The first time she met Nick after she liberated his plane from Seed Ranch she could see what an asset he’d make for the resistance. Sporting a gung ho attitude ready to fight for what was being taken from him. All in the name of the Rye legacy and his new baby girl. She missed Kim’s sharp wit when it came to talking to her husband. How that girl, even when she was close to 9 months pregnant, didn’t back down from convincing Nick to stay. How the hell could she not look up to them? 

Jess would be more difficult. She adored the girl. Always trusting her to tag along. The only other person to shoot with that much precision was Grace. The difference being that Jess did things quietly. Much more Ryleigh’s style. Their whole relationship was bound to crash down when she realized her uncle was dead. Murdered in cold blood. And Ryleigh lived a cozy life with the man who did it. It made her stomach twist with betrayal. 

“Ryleigh!” John caught her on the shoulder. His face was serious as he guided her to his room. She trailed behind him, too tired after her talk with Jacob to resist. “I’ve got some of your people on the radio. We’ve got to talk about what we’re going to do once they get here. Seems like you and Jacob spun some tale about them coming to take you away right? Well, apparently they’ve got ground rules.” He laughed softly. “Not like that matters though.” 

John sat on the side of the chair in front of where he set up the radio, he pulled on her wrist, making her sit on the other side, pushing their thighs together so they didn’t fall off. John leaned forward to mess with one of the switches and handed the speaker to her. He threw his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. She ignored the intensity of his stare. Boring into her, but lacking the hostility that Jacob carried last time she was expected to call them. 

“Hey. Hey it’s me, uh,” she struggled for a minute, realizing she wasn’t sure which one of ‘her people’ she was talking to. 

“Christ, that you Rook? You’re actually alive.” He gave a flustered laugh. “Fuck, I gotta say I didn’t believe Kim when she told me that Pratt heard news of you. It’s good to hear your voice.” Ryleigh sucked in a breath. Reaching over to squeeze John’s knee. Even before this shit kicked off, she was happy to hear Nick. Now more than ever. The amount of normal, everyday questions that sprung to mind was bizarre. It’s like a part of her mind still wanted things to be back to the way they were. Just like before when she’d randomly turn up at their house and crash on their couch. By the end of the night they’d eat whatever Nick decided to cook and splayed out around the tv. 

“So...words gotten around that you got the raw end of the deal.” What? “You’ve got the Seeds in your bunker. Well, Dutch’s bunker.” The way he said it, ‘words gotten around,’ like there were a large group of people who knew. More resistance members? Or maybe just the Peggie community. 

“Speaking of Dutch, how’s he doing? Jess is worried about him. We all have been askin’ to speak with him, but John just kept avoiding all our questions. Addie says we shouldn’t expect much coming from a lawyer. She, uh, used many more colorful words than that. Words I’m not too keen on repeating considering I’ve got a little girl now.” There was a giddiness to his words. “I’m a father Rook, Kim’s been saying how language is important if we want her growing up right.”

Ryleigh opened her mouth to speak, but found a lack of words at her disposal. “You still there Dep?” She took in a shuddering breath and mumbled an affirmation. Her mind was still stuck on his previous comment about Dutch. John sensed her sudden uneasiness and grasped her wrist, pulling the radio closer to him. “We’ve come to talk arrangements Nick. You’ll see how we’ve been thriving once you get here.” John’s voice still held joviality, the same tone he had when he made Nick atone. 

“Nick, we all urge you to stay for a few days once you arrive. Let’s be civil about this, figure something out so no one gets hurt.” Ryleigh closed her eyes and leaned her head against John’s shoulder. 

“Uh huh Seed, civil. Cause you weren’t exactly civil the last time we met. Rook, I'm gonna be honest, some of us here are a little concerned about your state of mind right now. You’ve been hanging around the Seeds. They don’t exactly have the best reputation. And John, he’s a liar and a cheat. Sorry you weren’t nearby when the shit hit the fan.” 

Before John could interrupt to fight against Nick’s insults, Ryleigh spoke up, “Nick, go ahead, say what you want.” 

“M’kay, we got this list, this list of compromises we could meet. You wouldn’t believe how many night the we stayed up going over this until everyone was happy.”

John cut him off before he could get another sentence in, “Nick, please spare us the details. We have things to do.” That was a complete lie. She couldn’t imagine doing anything better than this. 

Nick ignored John and barreled on with his list. There was the distinct sound of ruffling papers. Way too loud. He must’ve been doing it on purpose. “Alright, listen up. Deputy you might want to keep John on a muzzle so he doesn’t speak up. That man loves the sound of his own voice.” Ryleigh laughed lightly, his brand of humor was refreshing. 

“Number 1) We won’t be walking a step in that bunker until we see Rook, so wait outside, or keep the door open so we can look in. We ain’t as stupid as y’all probably hope we our 2) If the Seeds want to talk then we’re only allowing one of ‘em to be present. Don’t need ‘em to gang up on us 3) We need supplies, this has nothing to do with getting Rook back...but it’s a fair price to pay for the risk we’re gonna take 4) When we leave,whether we stay for the night or not, we need the Deputy to come with us. We’ll fight if we need to. And this ain’t the kind of gathering for you to decline. We’ll put this list out there and it’s up to you guys if you wanna listen. Trust me, our group has been waitin’ for an excuse to lose our minds.” Suddenly there was a loud crash coming from Nicks side and a series of curse words. The voice sounded like a women’s but she couldn’t be sure whose it was. “Yeah...some more than others.” 

John was already pulling the radio out of Ryleigh’s hand. “Nick, we’ll take everything you said into account. Of course I’ll need to discuss your terms with my family. We’ll radio back if we have any questions. God be with you.” He moved to end the call, but as an afterthought added, “And congratulations on your new child.” 

Nick huffed through the receiver. She knew it was a sore point for the mention of his daughter to be coming from John. “Yea, sure thing, we’ll be leaving in two days to make the trip. Whether you want us to or not. So make your thoughts clear before we head out.” The radio call ended with a loud click. She felt John deflate beside her. 

“You’re friends are something else, you know that? Going on suicide missions just to take you back.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini suspense chapter!

The day was swiftly approaching. Joseph had taken over talking to her friends. Telling them that they could meet each demand they made. Only to get off the radio and quickly assure John that “God will not let her be taken, not when The Voice told me that she belongs with us.” It seemed that sleeping with Joseph had the opposite effect she intended. She figured he would be sympathetic and let her choose who she wanted. Instead he acted more protective of her. Like she was essential to Eden’s Gate. 

She was scared for whoever was brave enough to come get her. Scared what might happen if she decided to make a run for it. It’d be easy. Wait until the doors were opened and she’d burst out, hopefully they still had fast enough reactions to understand not to question her and just run. Ryleigh was sure they had guns, they could fight if need be. 

Her body was a nervous bundle of energy as she waited. She constantly hung around the entrance, she spent days just waiting. Way too nervous to sleep. Ryleigh thought she wasn’t bringing too much attention to herself. That idea disappeared when John approached her, looking more than upset. “Your friends aren't going to be too happy seeing the state you’re in.” Numbly she glanced up from where she was leaning against the wall. “You need to sleep, God you look worse than Jacob usually does.” John wasted no time reaching over for her. She swatted his hands away, a scowl on her face. 

She slumped down slightly. “I don’t wanna miss them John. They said I need to be the first person they see.” She shrugged, almost losing balance. “So here I am.” 

John moved to swing her arm over his shoulder. He pulled them both to the ground. Automatically she moved to place her head in his lap. His hands smoothed over her hair. “I’ll wake you, it’ll be alright. Please trust me.” The soothing words he gave were a side of John she hadn’t seen before. Joseph said that John wasn’t always a monster. Being the youngest he was probably a sweet carefree child. She could see that now. 

Ryleigh grasped at his hand, squeezing tight. She was sorry for the life he had to go through, the one that changed him into a terrible man who reigned with an iron fist. “I’m so sorry John.” Her words were slurred from exhaustion.

————————  
“It’s not right Jacob, we can’t make that choice for her.”

“Do you care about her John? And if you don’t then tell me why you want to die. Cause that’s what’ll happen if these people come in here. They will murder us Johnny, they hate us. This won’t be peaceful.”

“I—what...Jacob don’t..”

“I know what your answers gonna be. I’m helping all of us here. I’m supposed to protect my family, it’s always been that way.”


	23. Chapter 23

Jess was at the front of their small group, acting as the unofficial leader for the trip. Her now tattered hoodie was pulled over her head, partially obscuring her vision. She kept her eyes straight, trusting those behind her to cover their sides and back. 

They were coming up on Dutch’s bunker, a walk she made quite a few times to the point where it became second nature. 

Jess stopped when she came upon the heavy metal doors. Her blood was thrumming throughout her body, gearing up for a fight. A hand was placed on her shoulder. “You gonna be okay?” Jess cast her gaze over Pratt’s face. Now scarred and distorted from Jacob. The sight of it caused a spike in her anger. A quick twitch of her lip that made Pratt pull her back slightly, as if to de-escalate a situation that was yet to start. 

“I should be askin you that Deputy. You sure you’re prepared to see Jacob again? You ain’t gonna go crazy on us, cause you can stay out here.” He weighed her words. They had talked about who should stay outside and he had been adamant that Ryleigh had done so much for him that he had to return the favor. 

Before he could answer, Addie was already pushing between the two to pull at the bunker doors. It swung open with no resistance. She took two steps back to stand next to Pratt and Jess, both of which had their guns raised. 

There was a stint of silence. Seconds passed with everyone training their guns on the entrance. 

Only you…

Jess perked up at the sound of music coming from inside the bunker. She spent time in the Whitetails Mountains but managed to stay away from Jacob’s classical conditioning. He sent his hunters after her, almost forgetting that she too was a seasoned hunter herself, even if she was years younger than his men. 

The same couldn’t be said for Pratt. The group wasn’t naive as to what he went through. They constantly kept an eye on him incase he snapped. And he had his moments of insanity. 

His hands were shaking uncontrollably. She saw the beads of sweat dripping down his temple. The gun in his hand was lowered slowly. She wasn't sure if he was submitting to the song or if he was scared of what he’d do with a gun in his hands. It was like he changed with the flick of a switch. For half a second Jess witnessed all the fear that he stored away come back.   
———————  
“Jacob are you sure this is the only way?” Jacob was pacing the floor, hands clenched at his side. He momentarily looked over to where John sat with Ryleigh’s sleeping body on the couch. The man couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Had to go running to Joseph to rat on him. The difference between him and John being that Jacob didn’t worship his brother. Jacob wasn’t going to back down just because he disagreed with him. 

“Joe, think logically for once. These people despise us. Every one of them had been hurt in one way or another by the Project. By our hands. Do you think they’re gonna come in here willingly and put their guns down. You’ve got this perfect image of how we’ll all coexist together but that’s not how it’ll happen.”

The entire time Joseph was casually sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his lukewarm drink. His brow was furrowed in concentration. “Jacob I’ve always agreed with your methods. They work perfectly. But please consider how Ryleigh will react. You might damage her permanently.”

“She’s strong Joseph. I've given her a mission previously and she got it done. She can do this. She’ll handle the mental tolls later. We can help her through that.”

Joseph stood. Hands gripping the back of the chair. He looked over to his younger brother, whose head was tipped down to whisper in Ryleigh’s ear, even if she was asleep. It was more for his comfort anyway. “What do you think John.” At the sound of his name, John tensed up. 

“If Jacob thinks his plan will save our lives, then yeah, I’d agree with him.” 

Jacob crossed the room to fiddle with the turntable he found. The idea only came to him when he was lucky enough to locate an album by The Platters. She’d be mad, sure, but in the end she’d thank them all. Right now he couldn’t trust her. It was too risky. 

Besides, with Joseph already discussing a cover story for when she woke, plus the aftermath of all this, she wouldn’t necessarily hate them.


	24. Chapter 24

John held the deputy’s arms behind her back as she strained to move forward. To do what Jacob trained her to. He hesitated on moving. Joseph’s hand felt heavy on the small of his back. “You’re sure you want to do this? Either Jacob or I would be happy to.” John tensed, he was terrified. This moment would wound him for the rest of his life. He knew it.

In stuttering steps he began to turn the corner and walked up the steps. His brothers waited in the main room, waiting to shut off the music and come to bring everyone in the bunker. Dead or alive. 

John didn’t let the deputy go when he should of, even if she was struggling like a rabid dog. He moved further to see the scene playing out before him. 

Despite Jacob’s plaything being a small man with barely any muscles, he somehow managed to harm three people. John might’ve been an asshole, but he took the time to know the people of Hope County. He connected their faces to names. He knew their families, the hardships they’ve been through. It hurt him to know how much pain Ryleigh would go through when she found out what he saw in front of him. 

Sharky, Adelaide and Nick weren’t moving. His gut churned with betrayal for what he was about to do. He prayed to God that they would forgive him. 

From his pocket he received a pair of handcuffs and promptly connected them to Ryleigh’s wrist, putting the other end onto a sturdy branch. John launched himself at Pratt, tackling the man to the ground in order to pull out handcuffs to lock his hands behind his back. 

Besides the music that played around them, all was quiet. He was aware of the girl that was marked a sinner in the Whitetails Mountains, Jess, move to look over the bodies of her friends. 

She bent down, checking pulses, not seeming nearly as mad as she should. Maybe it was shock. She stumbled away to put distance between the dead bodies that littered the floor. Her chest was heaving, eyes glazed over.

John still stayed on top of Pratt, hand pushing the man’s head into the dirt. He moved to pick both of them up. John felt the younger man struggle for a second before calming. It had John glancing over to the bunker. The music had stopped. Jacob must of heard the lack of noise and would be coming up soon. 

He had to move. 

John raced over to where Jess sat, head between her legs. He moved to reach for her arm, but felt her swing at him, anger burning in her eyes. They didn’t have time for this. “We gotta go. My brothers, they’re going to take you and Pratt. Then Ryleigh won’t escape like you wanted her to.” Jess scowled, reaching to pull Pratt out of his grasp. 

“Fuck you John.” There was mania in John’s eyes. She had to see that. “I’m takin’ my friends...I’m bringin’ more people to come back here to collect the bodies.” She jammed a finger in his face. “Don’t move ‘em.” His heart throbbed painfully as she demanded the keys for the handcuffs. He didn’t do a damn thing to resist. Just pulling the small key from his pocket and placing it in her outstretched palm. 

She moved gracefully despite the injuries he could see she had.

Jess pushed Pratt to the ground, keeping him pinned in place with her knee as she struggled with Ryleigh’s handcuffs. She slapped her cheeks a few times, stepping back to see if she’d go crazy. When neither of the deputies moved, Jess helped Ryleigh stand, then undid Pratt’s cuffs. 

She stood frozen for a few moments looking between her two friends. From where John sat he could see them come back to their original mindset. Once again he felt the pang of betrayal and treason. Before he could stop himself, John went over to throw Ryleigh's arm across his neck. “I’ll help you Jess.” The girl seemed taken aback by his knowledge of her name, but covered it quickly. 

“Step back Seed, after all you did I ain’t lettin’ you come along. You’ll kill us.” 

When the tears crowded his vision he lied to himself and said he was just committed to making this work. But deep down he was actually scared. He’d have to atone for being a traitor. In the past that meant a number of things. New tattoos, cuts, or whips that would be used just enough to draw blood, but not scar. Whether his brothers helped him or not was up to John in the end. 

“He can come. I vouch for him Jess.” They both startled at the sound of Ryleigh’s hushed voiced. Jess moved to pull her away from John, hands cupping her face. “Dep, he just killed our friends.” Ryleigh shook her head wildly. She opened her mouth to protest. But Pratt was already speaking. “He didn’t do anything. It was me. I—Jess in the one you should get rid of. I don’t know what happened, God, oh God I’m so sorry.” The man was on the brink of a mental break when Ryleigh moved to hold him tightly. Ryleigh wanted to soothe his nerves. Tell him that she was under the same spell. Yet he’d never believe her, after all she wasn't the one covered in blood.

“He can come.” The man’s voice was wrecked. “He was the one to stop you from being murdered Jess, I would’ve killed you. Bring him along, he’s the strongest, at least he’ll be able to protect us.”


	25. Chapter 25

“People of Eden’s Gate, as I sit here and begin today’s sermon I’d like to announce the mission that God has presented us all with. Before we are able to walk into a new world, acting as the pillar of the community, we’ve been presented with a test. A test given to us that will weed out those who hide among the faithful. It will rip out those who don’t belong, whether they are weak or traitorous. It brings me great difficulty to admit that my brother John, our baptist, has turned against us. He has been blinded by sinners who plague his mind and make him believe we are unjust. We all love John, though he didn’t accept that in time. And for me to say it’s too late for him makes my heart ache. But Jacob and I both stand by the decisions we are about to make. Jacob, please, go ahead.”

“Everyone if you’ve been listening, then you know how John has been...led astray. He wasn’t taken or forced. He chose to abandon us. After all the project as provided him with and after God has granted him mercy, he still left us. Now the strongest out of us must hunt him and the sinners by his side. I don’t wish for his death. I don’t want death or harm to the people walking by his side either. I only ask you to find them all, however many there may be. Find them and bring them to my bunker in the Whitetail Mountains. I’ll make the commute up there and stay there until the sinners are brought to me. Joseph will remain where he’s at. Further notice on what to do with them will be brought to everyone’s attention once they’re back in our hands. Joseph..”

“My Children, the words my brother Jacob speaks is filled with nothing but the truth. He is a strong man who will go through anything if it means all those intended can all march through Eden’s Gate. Thank you for listening, tonight I ask all of you to pray for the stamina to pursue the sinners as well as the patience to find them. Because they will be caught before we pave a new beginning, the Gates of Eden have been shut for them.”


	26. Chapter 26

She was more scared than she thought. Even with John’s facade of bravery. Which she quickly realized his change in attitude was for Jess and Pratt, John was too concerned about them knowing the different sides he had. It was like a defense mechanism for him. He strutted forward, chin tipped up, throwing glances over his shoulder. Their small group didn’t say it directly, but he got the vibe that they didn’t want him to stay too close. John caught Ryleigh gesturing animatedly to Jess, who was pulling Pratt along by the wrist. Sometimes Ryleigh’s voice rose too high and she’d get a harsh slap on the shoulder. 

Ryleigh trudged forward, hands balled at her side. Jess wasn’t listening to a damn word she said. Instead changing the subject. It always went back to the same few subjects. Shelter for the night and the mental state of Pratt, who was mumbling under his breath. 

“We used most of our supplies gettin’ here Ryleigh, and unless John prepared for whatever the fuck stunt he just pulled, then we’re screwed.” A sigh left Ryleigh’s mouth, she knew Jess wasn’t wrong. Things didn’t seem to be in their favor. “And if you keep speaking so fondly of him,” Jess nodded at John’s figure, “then go on with him, I don’t need a target on my back. People will kill us before saving his ass.” The way she spoke made Ryleigh seethe with anger. Like this whole situation was Ryleigh’s fault. She didn’t ask for his help.

“No offense Jess, but I don’t think you two would last very long without John and I. You can’t protect yourself. And Pratt’s not in a position to even handle his gun.” At the mention of the man she was pulling along, Jess looked back at him. He was shaking, both hands wrapped tight around his pistol until his knuckles were white. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but every few moments a sob would tear its way past his throat. It cut Ryleigh deep, this kinda was her fault huh? 

“How about we make our way to my ranch?” Jess almost laughed. She couldn’t believe the audacity of this man. She glanced over at Ryleigh, raising an eyebrow. 

“John.” The chiding tone Ryleigh put into her voice made his shoulders slump slightly. Causing Jess to mutter, “He’s a fuckin’ child.”

John rolled the tension out of his shoulders and stopped walking. With his hands on his hips he waited for them to come closer. Painfully aware of Jess’s distance to him. But she let go of Pratt’s hand, who was more than happy to cling to Ryleigh and disregard his feelings toward John, whatever those may be. “My ranch will be safe. Guaranteed. Besides Deputy, I’m going there with or without your group of sinners, and seeing how I’m the only one with my head on my shoulders, I’d say you should follow.” He trailed a finger across Ryleigh’s jaw. “It’s in your best interest.” 

She watched him walk away, swaying his hips like he thought he was something else, he really was acting just like before. It was familiar to him. So he reverted back to someone she found it hard to care for. She longed for the time they last walked out together. Where he stayed curled by her side and didn’t act arrogant. 

Hefting Pratt’s arm around her shoulder, the other around her waist, she followed John. She tried to not pay attention to Jess’s sullen mood as she stormed ahead, bow held in a tight grip, seeming ready to shoot John if he exhibited anything that would provoke her. This was gonna be a long trip. 

———————-

It was getting dark. They were at Rae-Rae’s Pumpkin Farm, not even close to John’s ranch. Luckily he wasn’t stupid enough to keep walking. Without consulting them, he made his way over to the decrepit building, which surprisingly had its roof intact. The walls had holes in it, but it was the best house she’s seen so far. The same thoughts must of been going through Jess’s head too because she let out a low whistle. 

They unpacked in the house in a corner. Jess retrieved blankets from her bag, plus a mini radio. Ryleigh went about setting up an area to sleep but kept her eye on what Jess was doing. She watched her fiddle with the radio, not sure what she was trying to find. Something that small probably wouldn’t reach the Whitetail Mountains. 

Just as the thought passed her mind, the radio crackled to life. “—ill be caught before we pave a new beginning, the Gates of Eden have been shit out for them.” Jess hesitated on whatever broadcast she found. 

John bolted forward, reaching to grab at the radio, when Jess pulled it back, John held up in hands in a ‘no harm intended’ motion. “That’s Joseph, we might want to listen to this.” When Jess still looked at him skeptically he added, “They’re probably talking about us. Listen.” He wrapped his hand over her wrist. Before she could make a decision, the message played from the beginning. 

They sat in tense silence. Letting it finish. John’s head was tipped down, she could see each time he flinched at his brother’s words. It’s like these thoughts were foreign to him. He didn’t know how his only family could turn on his so quickly. 

When it ended and played from the top, Jess turned it off. 

“Why?” John stood to walk over to where a window once was. Hands clutching onto the frame. “Joseph always said I should let someone love me and my soul would be saved. I was trying. Ryleigh..” his voice hitched when It landed on their two spectators who watched their interaction. “They think I’m a bad man.” He was too far in his own mind to hear Jess sneer, “You are.” 

“And Jacob…” She saw the shift in his eyes. The sadness which transformed into anger. “He’s supposed to be on my side! I don’t even think he believes in Joseph, he was never as loyal to Joe as I was.” Ryleigh took a step back at the sight of him. He looked too unstable for her liking. She was scared that she’d be blamed for his coming out here. For his brothers hatred for him. 

“John, it’s not too late for you to go back, just let us keep going. We’ll be fine now.” She glanced over at Jess, who nodded rapidly at her. 

“You want me gone.” His voice was reduced to a whisper. “How does Joseph expect me to find love? People see the broken side of me and they run.” He chuckled, “They want John Duncan.” He turned towards her, a relaxed grin on his face. She hadn’t heard much of John’s past, wasn’t too sure who he used to be, or who he considered John Duncan to be. 

“They see John Duncan and they flock to me, you’d like that too wouldn’t you sweetheart.” He braced his forearm on the wall, hip jutted out. That smile was on his face again, it sent chills down her spine. 

With shaking legs she got closer to him, wanting to defuse the mental break he was steering towards. Ryleigh opened her mouth to say something but was stopped by Jess, who gripped her arm tight. 

John frowned for a second before regaining control and laughing. It sounded more carefree than it had any right to be considering their situation. “No? Still not what you want? Makes me wonder what people are looking for these days. Joseph always said I’d need to let love in, but he never told me how, never told me what to do to make someone care. And I mean actually care, someone who wanted all that I had to offer. Who would even accept those fucked up parts of me. I wanted someone to love each side of me. Whether that be Duncan or Seed.” John shifted to walk up to them, stopping when Jess pushed Ryleigh behind her. “Maybe Joseph wanted me to fail right from the start, that’s why he never guided me like all his other fucking children apart of his flock.”

He shook his head slowly, hands on his hips. With careful steps he moved around the debris, he made his way over to the blown apart doorway. 

Ryleigh tried to go forward, to reach out and stop John. He wasn’t in any state to brave the wasteland alone. But Jess was grabbing onto her torso, wrangling her to the ground, pushing all her weight onto her. Only letting go when John’s footsteps had disappeared and even when Ryleigh ran to the door, she couldn’t see him. 

She watched him go. A broken man who was so conflicted, and she sent him to his death.


	27. Chapter 27

She had him in the sight of her rifle, a glowing red that resembled the one Jacob sported, her own way to honor the family. It wasn’t practical for times like this when she was trying to stay hidden. She was too far away for him to see her, but whenever he would twist his neck to look at the landscape, she would tense. The way her muscles become taut wasn’t just from fear of being seen, of him knowing that she was hunting him, it was because just a glance at the Baptist had her heart racing. The last time she was able to get up close was when she was being invited into Eden’s Gate and he took her confession then helped her atone. 

Even now she kept her sights on him just to trace his jaw line covered in his thick beard. She saw how his normally slicked back hair was disheveled and thought that made him all the more desirable. The glasses he usually had atop his head was missing, though she’d be able to fix that. Her bunker she made way back when for her own personal use had been altered into what she could describe as a shrine. She was thinking of the exact spot where she placed a pair of blue aviators that resembled John’s. While looking at the man she imagined the excitement in his face, the smile he’d give her when she presented glasses to him. Along with the same style clothes he wore that she bought. Right now, in a pair of street clothes he didn’t look anything like the man she fell in love with when she first heard him preaching about sin. She would make him just like the Baptist he used to be. 

Her hands clenched around the sniper. Breathing speeding up at the thought of finally having him all to herself. 

She shifted her position, adjusting the permitted Eden’s Gate shirt, with the starry emblem, that hung off her frame. Up high in a scattering of mountains she began to move down, keeping her eye on where he was headed. She assumed he would be moving to his ranch, seeking refuge at his home after the message his brothers sent out. But she wouldn’t let him get that far. Her bunker was located to the east of Holland Valley, near a river, right on the edge between Faith’s region and John’s. Miles away from his intended destination. 

The gun she had was loaded with bliss bullets she stole from her time spent in Jacob’s bunker, which she promptly left once she realized where John was holed up. She had been waiting around the bunker on a tiny island until he came out. She followed him and his group, most likely the sinners Joseph talked about. Her main idea was to sneak into where his friends planned on sleeping but he had made her job a lot easier by going out on his own. 

She never went close enough to hear what they were saying during their walk, but she could see the anger that brewed between everyone. She could save him. The ever forgiving, loving Baptist would accept her like no one else had before. Besides, who knew what Eden’s Gate would do to him? He’d be safer with her.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a filler chapter before all the action takes place

Sleep didn’t come easy. She tossed and turned throughout the night. Jess wasn’t helping with her curses directed at the radio, which wasn’t extending to the Whitetails Mountains. Ryleigh gave up on getting a good night's rest sometime around midnight. Jess had her back turned to both deputies, unaware that neither of them were sleeping. 

Ryleigh’s gaze moved to Pratt, who was curled on his side In the fetal position, wrapped up in an excess amount of blankets. There were covers over his head, the only thing she could see were his eyes peeking out, shifting around nervously. He moved to get up and fell down next to her when he noticed her watching him. “You can’t sleep either huh?” She shrugged, then went to pull him closer. He trembled against her. 

“Rook, you heard what they said, when they find us, they’re gonna take us to Jacob.” Suddenly he perked up, eyes wide and nostrils flared. “I won’t let him hurt me again. But I guess we don’t have a choice. Because in the end everything will go the way that family wants it. Joseph was right, and he’ll be right again when he tells us that Eden’s Gate will start a new world, and we won’t be accepted. We are weak, we are traitors. We should of listened to them when they gave us the chance.” Ryleigh pulled his head onto her chest, stroking his hair. She wasn’t the best with comforting people. Especially when said person had more mental trauma then she had ever experienced. 

“Pratt, we’ll be fine. You survived Jacob and the end of the world, that makes you strong. Worthy of living.” For now that seemed to be enough as he nuzzled closer to her. Eventually the exhaustion would force him to sleep. It wouldn’t be a good night for any of them. Not with crazed Peggies chasing them. 

Soon, just as she thought, Pratt had collapsed against her. She slumped down with her back to the wall hoping to succumb to sleep too. “Ryleigh.” She gritted her teeth but opened her eyes to train on Jess. “Hm?” The noise she made would have to be enough for the hunter.

“What’s our plan? You leavin’ us to run off to John?” Ryleigh shifted and let her head thump against the hardwood. 

“You’re my friends. I wouldn’t leave you. You’ve been loyal to me, I should do the same for you right?”

“That’d be the right thing to do, sure. But what do you want to do? We ain’t gonna hold it against you, you’ve probably got your reasons, no matter how fucked up they are.” Jess stood and began to pack away the radio and snack wrappers from the small excuse of a dinner they had. She pushed her bag into their corner and fell on the other side of Ryleigh. Jess slung her arm across Ryleigh’s shoulder and toyed with Pratt’s hair. Soon she had two sleeping bodies pressing their weight into her and practically taunting her with the peaceful expression of their faces.  
——————

When the sun began to rise she still hadn’t gotten any sleep. That wasn’t good for anyone considering the last time she was sleep deprived she shot John. The thought of him had her thoughts swirling. There’s no way he made it to his ranch in one night. The threat of Angels and Judges weren’t there, but Peggies still roamed the land. 

While she waited for everyone to wake up, she went over whether it’d be a better idea to head to his ranch or to assume he had been caught and make her way into the Whitetail Mountains. Pros and cons to each. Yet both seemed to end in her eminent capture. Maybe Pratt was right. In the end the Seeds will get their way and everyone will have to listen to their commands. 

————

They were standing outside figuring out what to do. Which way was best, who should go with who. Jess made it clear that she was heading to the mountains. It was familiar to her and it was where their bunker was, and she reminded Ryleigh, where Kim and her child still was. “Someone’s gotta let her know what happened to Nick.” Ryleigh couldn’t argue with that logic, so she didn’t fight her. 

Pratt was shifting on his feet, fear on his face. Neither of them were putting in their opinions on what he should do. He was a grown man, a broken grown man, but they trusted he was lucid enough to make his own decisions. They were patient, talking among themselves until Pratt spoke up. “Going up into Jacob’s region...that’s walking right into trouble. No..if I can avoid that then I will. I’m not that stupid. I’ll go with you Ryleigh.” 

The goodbyes they gave weren’t tearful, with Jess not so helpfully reminding her, “if they really plan on catchin’ us then I suppose we’ll see eachother sooner or later.” 

They turned their backs on one another and went their respective ways. The difference being that now Ryleigh was carrying around a much more scared Pratt thanks to Jess’s parting words. 

———-  
Jacob wrapped his hand tighter around his red handled knife. Never before had he had to use it on so many Judges. They just kept coming. There wasn’t too much cover for them to jump out of him since the trees were gone, but they rushed at him all the same. He was covered in splatters of blood, he knew he looked like a mess. But the people at his bunker would still welcome him with open arms. Hell, they’d even look at his bloodied outfit and see how strong his is. 

He was tired, it was the second day he was walking, he didn’t sleep through the night, didn’t think he’d be able to. Not with the thought that his brother was out there somewhere. The Peggies wouldn’t kill him, but he might fight, which would lead to some type of injury on his part. Plus nature was a bitch, and that might be the one to harm him. These thoughts made Jacob more jumpy than usual. 

He wasn’t worried for Ryleigh. She at least had friends who would take a bullet for her. Not to mention that she was a survivor. He had no doubt that she’d be okay.  
—-

When he got close enough to see his bunker in the distance, he could make out the shapes of people outside guarding it. It brought a smile to his face, it was some semblance of normalcy that calmed him. It’d take twenty minutes to reach. Once he got inside they would show him to his room and insist that he sleep and shower while they prepare a meal for him. They would ask questions when he didn’t look so tense and angry, and surprisingly he’d be more than happy to answer. As much as it pained him to do so, he’d have to speak poorly of the same people who lived with him for three months in that tiny bunker. Call them sinners, tell everyone that they couldn’t walk through Eden’s Gate. 

Jacob wasn’t sure how long he had to pretend that he hated his brother for acting human. John made a choice based on the love and affection he felt for Ryleigh, and Joseph was punishing him for it.


	29. Chapter 29

John had finally calmed down. The anger he felt had dissipated and he could think clearly. Clearly enough to realize that he was surrounded by a lot cars. They didn’t look too old or broken. It was reason enough for him to start searching to see if he could get any of them working. Opening doors and checking for keys. Car after car, nothing. He wasn’t sure how much time he should let pass before he gave up. But with a long walk ahead of him, it couldn’t hurt. 

John spent the day looking. The sun had gone down, he was searching by moonlight now. His luck turned around when he found an ATV that ran just fine. He grinned at hearing the way it purred. Such a foreign sound after months of silence. 

He climbed on, revving the engine. It’d been awhile since he drove one of these, and upon checking the headlights, they were blown out. He’d have to pray to God that the roads were clear enough where he wouldn’t crash into something. 

John went slow at first, building up the courage to go faster. Suddenly he was twisting around corners, letting out cheers into the night at having the roads all to himself. It was like being twenty years old again, having his rich parents give him a sports car that he quickly went out to drive as recklessly as possible. He was young and had no sense of his own mortality. Things should’ve been different now. He was 35, had death flash before his eyes many times, that’s how things went when people came to fight your religion with a goddamn army at their side. So he should’ve been more careful when he got to a straight road and pushed the ATV to its limit. Which was faster than he anticipated. 

He didn’t have time to hit the brakes when he was able to register the human shaped shadow on the road. Just standing, facing him. Not making any move to get out of his way. The only thing he had time for was to swerve out of the way. He was aware of how his body got pitched over the guardrail, flying down the side of a steep slope.

————

Jess struggled at the many hands grabbing at her. They ambushed her. It was too dark out to see the people who rushed towards her. She was a hunter by nature. But how would she be able to sneak around the mountains like she had before if there was no cover? They pointed guns her way and waved around large machetes to scare her into submission. 

Her lip split from the fight. She knew she would be taken, couldn’t avoid that when she was so outnumbered. But one less Peggie would make this world a much better place. 

Her legs were taken out from under her, causing her to fall on her back. When one of the Peggies climbed on top of her to push a syringe near her, full of bliss if the green liquid inside was anything to go by. She flailed, legs kicking uselessly under his weight. He was quicker than her, pushing in the syringe and making her mind go numb. 

“Take her to Jacob, she’s one of the sinners.”

————-

Ryleigh’s feet were aching. They had been walking for way longer than she wanted to, they were going on their second night and it was dark now with no sign of shelter. 

She was cold and Pratt wasn’t much better than her. Hypothermia was starting to become an actual worry with their light clothes. It wasn’t like last night where they used each other’s body heat like a group of penguins. The only solution at the time was to throw blankets around their shoulders for some kind of protection. But food was lower than they liked, they were cold and tired. She was hoping that once they got to John’s Ranch that he’d help them. That was just a shot in the dark considering their last conversation. 

———-

Jacob was feeling great. The bunker was so much larger after living with his brothers and Ryleigh. Even with the huge amount of people, there was still enough space for everyone. He had his own room, which was far away from the noise of people talking and moving around. 

It was late at night when someone poked their head through the doorway and told him one of the sinners had been caught. A scar, dark hair, his mind jumped to Pratt and he felt a surge of excitement surge through his body. That was before he got word of it being a female. Jess Black. The hunter. The pain in his ass. 

His day was only dampened on slightly by that fact. He had food, shelter and people to talk to and boss around again. Things felt right. The world was finally looking up for him.


	30. Chapter 30

Time felt slowed down. He could barely make out what was happening around him. To him. His mind was in a carefully guarded state, not letting him process the world. His vision was hazy and he wasn’t sure if he could trust it. The spots of black and white that mingled with his blurry eyesight made him nauseous. He couldn’t feel his body. Every time he tried to reach out and make something respond, nothing would happen. He couldn’t even say he was scared, that’s how far gone he was. He was beyond the point of processing the thoughts in his head. 

John tried lifting his eyes. When he managed to open them just a tad, there was a blinding light that made him cringe away. He was distantly aware of the whine that he let out. But it sounded far away, like he was a spectator to the things that were happening. 

There was a rush of coldness on his forehead, then his hair was being pushed away from his face. Finally he got a single eye open. The shapes swayed in front of him. One thing was clear, he could see a person. At least the silhouette of a person. He could make out long hair, a mud caked face. Not anyone he recognized. He felt his first inkling of fear creep into his veins, making its way past the barrier that had shrouded his mind. He wanted to scream, this feeling of lack of control was starting to make its way to the surface. 

John forced his eyes open, gritting his teeth at the brightness. He could see a large lamp shining down on him. Industrial sized, the kind that was used for taking professional pictures. 

Hands slid up his neck, carding through his beard then traveled back down to tap on a thick artery. A light pinprick made him jerk, though his limbs felt too heavy to move. There was a fiery sensation running through his body before everything went numb again. 

————-

She spotted the shift in his eyes. The tight line of his lips as he got angry. Years of watching him and she was sure she could tell when he was about to flip. She couldn’t have him getting mad at her. Quick as she could, she grabbed one of the many syringes next to her and pumped him full of a drug that she didn’t know the name of. Another thing she stole from Jacob’s bunker before heading off. 

It calmed her to see the man beneath her straddled thighs finally relax again. He got that small smile on his face, dipping back into a dreamy sleep. Sometimes he’d mumble something under his breath and laugh. He was the epitome of cuteness. So precious and pure. 

She got off of him to cross the room, there was work to be done, plans to make. The first line of business was dealing with John. How would she make sure he never left? Surely taking his word for it couldn’t be trusted. The drugs weren’t a permanent option. She wanted John, not a brain dead creature. Tying him up could lead to a myriad of problems. What if one day she didn’t tie them tight enough and he left, she only had bungee cords, which would hurt the poor man. Plus he could trick her, if she went to untie him so he could use the bathroom he would over power her. 

She scrounged through boxes to find anything that might give her an idea. Box after box full of supplies and nothing was standing out. They were useless to what the situation called for. 

Until she got to the weapons box. 

At first she was hesitant of even looking through it. She wanted to cause as little harm as possible to him. But, as a last resort she started pulling things out and shoving her head in the crate. It was large, a surplus amount for only one person. A series of tools that she stole over time to bring here. She pulled herself out of the box and shoved her hand in, going by touch. Her fingers knocked around, hand curling around the wooden handle of a sledge hammer. It was heavy, the metal cylindrical head was large. 

She weighed it in her palm. It’d certainly do some serious damage. Enough damage to break bones perhaps. Hefting the large object over her shoulder, she made her way into their room. She watched John’s chest fall up and down in a restful sleep. It made her heard swell. 

She leaned the sledgehammer up against the bed. Her fingers traced downward, folding up John’s pants to right below his knee. Her gentle touch caressed his ankle and calf, then down to his foot. She felt the bone structure and could already imagine the cracking noise that would resonate throughout the bunker. She’d give him some type of drug to numb the area, either way, she was breaking his legs so he could never walk away. For the rest of time he would be dependent on her, especially when the broken bones didn’t heal properly. 

———- 

The next time he woke he felt more lucid. More aware of his surroundings. You know...the completely foreign surroundings he found himself in. He wasn’t tied up, so he wasn’t in danger. His lips quirked up. Did he have a guardian angel? 

John swung his legs off the bed, stretching his muscles. Shoots of pain traveled up and down his body like electrical currents. It wasn’t unbearable. He’d been through worse though. Like being shot out of a plane by the deputy. 

He clutched his head when it began to throb rhythmically. God, the last thing he remembered was suffering. Lying on a dirty embankment in his own blood. Believing that he wasn’t going to make it. He prayed then, prayed to see his loved ones one last time. God gave him another chance. Joseph could be wrong, God spared him, He wanted John to live. John wasn't an awful sinner. 

The anger he felt was suddenly flowing through him again. It was stronger this time with his brain working properly. He was stressed out beyond belief since being disowned from his family, and now he confused. John wanted his home. The comfort of a familiar face. Nothing he’d get if he stayed here. 

He stood up too fast, stumbling forward then crashing down on his knees. On instinct he reached for something to stop his fall but ended up pulling a table down with him. The crash it made did awful things to his ears, which felt over sensitive due to the lack of noise in his everyday life. The shattering of glass made him gaze over what he knocked down. A series of broken syringes surrounded him. Liquid spilled around him, bleeding through the thin material of his pants. 

“What. Happened.” 

John’s shoulders bunched around his neck at the malicious tone. His head turned to see who had spoken. A young girl who was probably Faith’s age stood in the doorway with a pale, shocked face. She moved slowly to take in the mess around him. She crouched down, ruining her own clothes with the fluid. Her hand came up to brush over his cheek, roughly yanking his beard when he flinched away. “You’ve ruined it. Look at the mess you made.” 

She helped him stand, pushing him back on the bed with his legs hanging off. “Be a good boy and stay there while I fix what you caused.” 

John’s chest was heaving, he was too weak to run, Hell, he couldn’t even stand. If he could fight her he still wouldn’t make it very far with the condition he was in. “There will be consequences John. I wanted to make this painless for you, truly I did. But now….” her arms swung wide to gesture to the broken glass on the floor. “Well, now you’ve ruined the numbing agent I made specially for you. That’s fine, I’m sure Jacob has taught you all about strength.” Her laugh was unnerving and made John move further away from her. But she took a few steps towards him, “Just remember how sorry I am John.” 

————

He’s never felt pain like this. A shattering, blinding feeling that made him float in and out of consciousness. The noises that his bones made underneath the weight of the sledgehammer caused tears to rush down his face. If he made it through this he’d be a better person, that’s what he told God. He prayed for his brothers to find him, to love him again. He’d do right to everyone he’s ever wronged. Just dear God make the pain stop.


	31. Chapter 31

“Joseph, what if you’re wrong? I’m not sure if you’ve considered that, or if you’re even listening right now, I know it’s late and you’re not responding to any of my calls. I was thinking you’re not answering because you feel regretful. At least I hope that’s the case. Look, I’m leaving my bunker to look for Ryleigh and John, I can’t stand not doing anything. If I find them and you can’t accept them in your life, then we’ll go somewhere else. Will you call me a traitor too? Don’t get any ideas in your head, I still care for you Joe. I love you. I’m worried that you won’t fix your mistake in time and push John away when he adores you the most. Please, for the sake of our family, just think about taking him back. Jacob over and out.”

Joseph was lying on the middle of the floor, radio held up on the table in the room. His fingers traced nonsensical patterns with the dust that permeated the ground. He was confused and scared. 

Jacob called him regretful. But that wasn’t entirely true. In reality he had doubt. It was a dangerous thing to carry. It made him sluggish throughout the day, he’d walk around like a dead man. At the time, he thought the choice he made was right. John’s repeated disloyalty should be met with repercussions.

At the end of the day he wondered why God would spare his family only to steal his baby brother away. They made it this far, shouldn’t John be able to walk through the gates of Eden? That’s where the doubt started. Maybe he was wrong, and the end of the world thing was a lucky guess. A fluke. Maybe he was a false prophet and had no right on making life changing decisions for people. Because in a way, he was deciding the lives of people, and he couldn’t play God. 

All the praying he did didn’t erase his doubt. It was like a disease he carried. He wasn’t properly taking care of himself. He missed meals and showers. His sleeping patterns fluctuated. And now he was curled up on the floor in the fetal position. Tears threatening to spill. 

He was too ashamed to answer any of Jacob’s radio calls. It was his pride getting in the way. It hurt to admit that he was wrong, maybe about everything, not just the situation with John. The thought of him harboring pride made him feel sick. He’d have to talk to his people soon. They needed a voice of reason. He just wasn’t sure if that was him anymore.


	32. Chapter 32

John’s ranch never looked more gorgeous. Yeah it was dilapidated, half of it was a pile of ash and rubble. But it’s what it represented. Food, shelter, water. Surely John wouldn’t mind sharing his part of the rations. She couldn’t help the excitement that filled her body. It made her grab onto Pratt’s hand tighter. He gave her a weak smile when he saw her beaming back at him. 

“What did I tell you huh? Look, we made it!” She heard the rise in her voice, wincing at how it echoed around the empty space.

Judging at how sluggishly Pratt was walking, she was thinking that he was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. He wouldn’t make it much longer. They were both cold and hungry. 

She shifted through the pile of rubble, motioning for Pratt to hang back. There wasn’t much left of the place. She could see it in her mind’s eye. How tall it stood. A symbol of pride to whoever owned it. The corners of her lips rose as she remembered that for a brief time it was her group that were the ones who had it in their possession. No one would be interested anymore though. You’d be foolish to seek shelter here. Question being: Was John stupid enough to stay here and choose nostalgia over functionally? Definitely not. He was a practical man who wouldn’t risk having the shambles of a roof crash down on him in the middle of the night. Nor would he care to get tetanus from one of the steel beams. 

Still, for the sake of her and Pratt, she searched through the place. Calling John’s name, thankful for the light that was starting to appear over the horizon. The way the sun was starting to shine made shadows longer. Images distorted, he could be anywhere he deemed safe enough and she’d miss him because of how the light fell. 

She stood in the middle of it all. Acutely aware of how it used to look. The voicemail she listened to where Joseph expressed his concern for John. Hearing the emotion that Joseph showed had her wondering how he could possibly toss his brother out and throw a bounty on his head. Ryleigh didn’t notice the ache behind her eye that signaled the start of tears. With fists clenched, she turned around and took a deep breath to compose herself. 

A swift hit from the butt of a rifle hit her temple. The pain exploded across her skull, making her drop to her knees. Broken shards of wood and glass stabbed through her worn jeans. The palms of her hand became dirty from the ash when she tried to steady herself. 

A hand came down to haul her to her feet. She was shoved along until they stood outside of the Seed ranch. Pratt was knelt down in the dirt, hands behind his head. His eyes were wide staring at her. Something mournful was on his face, he mouthed an apologetic ‘I’m sorry.’ 

Another hard shove was delivered to her back with a strict order to put her hands on her head. She complied when the gun was shoved on between her shoulder blades. 

They were Peggies. Little room for doubt considering the clothes they were wearing. She wouldn’t ever be able to forget their star esque emblem. 

“Take ‘em to Jacob?”

“You kiddin’, you wanna walk all the way up there. That’ll take days. I say just shoot them. We’d be doing them a favor, who knows what The Father wants to do with them.” 

“No way, defy The Father, are you serious? I do not want to face Jacob’s wrath. Besides, he left the same time we did looking for them. What happens if he’s close enough to hear the gunshot and gets curious and comes running. Then we look like the bad guys. We’ve got a job to do man. We’ve got enough food. Two of us, two of them. C’mon. Stop complaining and let’s go.” The one Peggie went to lead, but looked over his shoulder. “Keep an eye on them. We don’t have anything to restrain ‘em with.”

He only got a gruff grunt from his annoyed companion. 

Their pace was immediately faster than what her and Pratt were originally doing. One stayed in front, the other guarded their rear. She watched for patterns in their movements. It was essential to look for an opportune moment to escape. Or kill if necessary. The guns and knives they were carrying with them had been taken by the Peggies. Two on two. It could work. 

They didn’t seem to care that her and Pratt were walking side by side, or that after thirty minutes that they put their hands down by their side. Either the Peggies were too tired to care or were confident in their skills. 

Another thirty minutes passed and the sun was fully shining over them. When Ryleigh craned her neck to look skyward, she saw that for the first time since she’s been out that there were clouds. Small wisps that didn’t resemble the fluffy orbs that Hope County usually had. It was a start though. It wasn’t even a year yet and the world was fixing the damages done by the bombs. The thought made her steps lighter. 

She bumped her hip with Pratt’s to draw his attention. He didn’t move his head, or give any indication he was listening. Smart boy. 

“I think we can jump them. We’re close to Dutch’s bunker. If we do it now we could be there in a day.” She tried to forget how incredibly bad of a situation it’d be to be near Joseph when he was upset like he was, but it would be better than being in Jacob’s bunker surrounded by angry Peggies. 

Pratt was pursing his lips when she looked over at him. She barreled on when he didn’t shut her idea down. What other choice did they have then to act now? 

“You take the one in front, he looks weaker, smaller, I’ll get the asshole behind us.” Pratt hummed low in his throat, returning the gesture of nudging her hip. If he was offended that she gave him the shorter, less muscular man, then he didn’t show it. But he was worse off than her and his fighting abilities wouldn’t be the same trained deputy that she remembered. 

“I’ll make a diversion, draw their attention. Get them closer to us before we attack.”

She took one last breath. Fingers strung around her belt loops. She saw a log sticking out of the ground. Half buried in dirt. She could trip on that. Faceplant, maybe she’d need help to get back up. 

Ryleigh kept her head down when she deviated her path subtly. Her left foot hooked further out to make her tip over the thick piece of wood. She laid sprawled out on the dirt, on her back. Not what she was aiming for, but she could adapt. They had to. 

Pratt’s eyes widened when the man ahead stopped and yelled at him to not take another step. Both men approached her. More cautious than she thought they would be. From lidded eyes she saw Pratt knock one man’s feet out from under him. Hopping on his body to strangle him. 

In an instant she was launching herself at the man she was supposed to kill. He was taken off guard and didn’t anticipate that she would pull the handgun from out of his jeans. From such short range it made it easy to raise the gun and fire. 

When she pivoted on her heel she saw Pratt still strangling the writhing man beneath him. She wasted no time jogging over and aiming the gun to his face. The loud bang made Pratt jump off the the corpse. 

Their chests were heaving with uneven breaths. She reached out to pat his shoulder. “Grab all their shit. It’ll take about a day, we need whatever we can get. We’ll talk about a game plan on the way there.”


	33. Chapter 33

They were two miles away from Dutch’s bunker. Refilled with food and water from what the Peggies had on them, the deputies were able to move faster. They didn’t bother stopping at night, too amped up to sleep properly. Besides, the darkness provided some sort of cover that daytime wouldn’t offer. 

Pratt had a much healthier color in his cheeks, gaining back his tanned skin. He was even starting to smile at Ryleigh’s constant teasing words to take their minds off of the nuclear fallout. At the moment, things were looking up. That was up until Pratt pointed out the inevitable crisis they faced with Joseph. They heard that Jacob was in the Whitetail Mountains and would presumably stay there until his men took them up there. So it would be two vs one once they got to the bunker. Good for them that Joseph was by no means a violent man. How hard would it be to overpower him and shove him outside the bunker? It might be a death sentence for the man. But she didn’t have a choice. She might have been able to convince Jess that they should let John help them, but Pratt was a different story. He wouldn’t trust Joseph enough to let him live in the same space as them. The abuse he endured by the hands of the Seeds had destroyed him. 

Just the mention of Jacob’s name had him shaking. The fear and his conditioning was still there in the recesses in Pratt’s mind. She held him tight to her side and murmured reassurances whenever she saw the shadow pass over his face in a moment of silence. 

——————

It was still dark out but the silhouette illuminated by moonlight was clear to them. Ryleigh stopped dead in her tracks, yanking Pratt back. He sucked in a breath through his teeth. They saw the movements of a rifle being raised. Pratt was the first to run for cover, jumping behind a pile of rocks. She took a few steps back but didn’t move out of the way. The person was looking through the scope, either observing her or lining up a shot. 

The blood red color of the gun stood out in the darkness. 

She was pulled to the ground by Pratt. Her heart thumping wildly. “What? Was it someone we know?” There was a hopeful glint in his eyes. 

“I think it’s Jacob.” At his noise of panic she was quick to add, ‘I’m not sure okay?” After all, so many people could own a red sniper. But Pratt wasn’t listening to her. She saw the range of emotions that played on his face. He shifted lower on the ground, hand loosening on his pistol. 

She leaned in to give him a half hug from their position in the dirt. One that he barely reciprocated. “I’ll go check who it is. And under no circumstances do you come out until I say so.” 

Ryleigh pushed away from the rocks to stand up, she raised her hands up in case the person wasn’t actually Jacob and saw her as a threat. She kept her steps slow as she approached the figure. Body tightening as it ran full tilt as her. She flickered through her options. The body was advancing on her quickly. Before she got knocked into a hug she saw that tuft of red hair and scarred face. Ryleigh allowed herself to fall backwards when he grabbed her. He rolled at the last moment so he could take the brunt of the impact. He pulled their bodies together so she was sitting in his lap. 

Jacob crowded her space with kisses along her jaw and hands brushing her hips and thighs as if she wasn’t real. He pushed a kiss to her brow, “You’re alive.” She couldn’t respond. Not with the amalgamation of emotions stirring inside her. Didn’t he want her captured, most likely dead? She listened to his radio broadcast, maybe Joseph made him say that. She couldn’t be sure. One thing was certain, she felt safe in his arms. Like that night when he comforted her after all that time spent on the floor in handcuffs. She wanted to believe he cared. That he’d be her protector. What were the chances that he’d take her side over his brother’s?

“Who was with you?” His eyes finally left her to look around. Glaring off into the darkness as if piercing a nearby threat. 

Her mouth dried up at his question. And when she felt him shift to stand, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He melted slightly into her touch. Ryleigh stroked the sides of his face, her lips lingered on his cheek. “Stay here for a second.” He let his hands drop from her hips so she could stand. 

The walk over to where he partner was hiding was tense, she felt Jacob’s gaze on her back. When she rounded the corner she was left breathless. Her hands clenched into fists. Where the fuck did he go? Pratt wasn’t there. She saw no sign of where the younger man scampered off to. Most likely out of fear. She jogged further away, not checking if Jacob was following as she disappeared around a scattering of trees which covered the view to a revine. 

The large dip in the earth wasn’t there before the collapse, but the natural structure was breathtaking. If not for Pratt standing on the edge trembling like a leaf. His gun was held loosely in one hand. Through his closed eyes were a steady stream of tears that made tracks in the dirt on his face. 

“Pratt?” Her voice was shaking, meek. Not at all like the strong leader she used to be. She didn’t entirely blame him for standing on the edge of the precipice. 

He opened his eyes frantically when he heard her voice. His head turned to look at her. “I’m not going through that Ryleigh. That man can’t be trusted. Besides what’s the point?”

“Staci, the point...I’m gonna be honest here. You need to find something to wake up for. You need a purpose. Someone or some goal that’ll help you wake up. Can’t you find that? Can’t you wake up every morning with the thought that one day you’ll start a new life?”

Ryleigh took a few steps forward and was relieved to see him stay where he was. He shook his head slowly. “Joseph is always right. He’s a God among men. He’s truly a prophet. And we didn’t see that sooner. When he said that the Gates of Eden has been shut for us, he was right.”

He had her at a loss for words. She could have spent years talking to members of Eden’s Gate on why Joseph was wrong and it would never work. People would believe what they wanted. It’s so difficult to change someone’s beliefs. Especially religious ones. 

“Hey.” They both jumped at Jacob’s rougher voice. Ryleigh was the only one to turn around. Pratt didn’t need to, he knew that sound. That tone and dialect. It made his heart stop and sealed his answer. 

Jacob walked up to Ryleigh, placing a hand on her shoulder. Holding her back in case she did anything rash. “Hey there Pratt.” It couldn’t have been an accident that he didn’t use the term Peaches. “You’ve been taking care of Ryleigh huh? Leading the pack, you know how to do that now. You’re strong. And too smart to throw yourself headfirst off a cliff.”

The laugh Pratt gave was wet with tears and mucus. Slowly he raised the gun up to point at Jacob. Ryleigh felt her foot twitch, wanting to intervene. But Jacob was now holding her back with an arm across her chest. 

“I could shoot you right now Sir, but something would stop me. Some force that I can’t explain would keep you alive. God is on your side. Not mine. The game was rigged from the start. I tried to play with the hands I’ve been dealt. I did the best I could. But I was never meant to make it. God doesn’t want that. I was walking down this path ever since I stepped foot in Hope County.” 

Ryleigh felt her knees buckle and she collapsed to the ground. She held in tears, tried to be strong. To not fall apart. “You don’t need to do this Stace, come on. Come here, we’ll go find whatever bunker you and Jess were holed up in. You never have to see Jacob again.”

Pratt tipped his head and lowered the gun. “You don’t get it do you!” His scream echoed throughout the ravine. His foot came stomping down like an agitated child. “This is fate at work. There’s no more free will in my life. The Father’s word is law. We’ve all witnessed that. So why am I the only one who can accept that?” He took a step closer to the edge. “Even if you manage to pull me away from this, I’ll still end up dead. I’m not mean to walk into Eden, into the new world. So I’ll be dead before that happens. If not today, then sometime in the future. I’m only sorry I couldn’t embrace the words of The Father before it was too late.”

Jacob held her back when she tried to dart forward. His arms tightened on her stomach, pushing painfully around her. She winced when she heard the dull thud of her friend’s body. She howled in anguish at another person she loved gone. All because of the Seeds. Ryleigh flailed more when Jacob threw her over his shoulder. He hummed his song, forcing her to relax against him. Her mind blotted out as he made her dip in between consciousness.


	34. Chapter 34

Jess waited for that perfect opportunity. Even when she passed the bunker she knew the rest of the Whitetails where holes up in, she didn’t run for it. The Peggies were twitching with nerves. Just waiting to put a bullet in her thigh. 

It happened when they were nearing Jacob’s bunker. The surrounding area didn’t have any guards, so she had to take out the five that were with her. All with her bare hands since they took away her weapons, she’d have to do it with no possible cover in sight. The injuries that might come from running would be better than being locked up and probably tortured for information. Jess needed to formulate a plan fast. She spotted a large rocky cave that was howling with wolves. Good chance that if she was able to run there then the Peggies would be too afraid to jump in after her right away. 

Jess began a countdown in her head. Timing the right distance between the bunker doors and the cave. 

5

Two of the Peggies ran up ahead to open the door, that meant the three near her would be the first ones to react. It made her success rate higher.

4

She turned her head to see one of the Peggies, the bastard who took her bow, was talking on the radio. Jess could hear it was Joseph, though his tone was so soft that she couldn’t hear what he was saying. It didn’t matter to her, all that mattered was that the Peggie was distracted majorly because his prophet was speaking. Spouting more holy bullshit. 

3

She squared her shoulders ready for a fight. Another Peggie went to listen to Joseph's broadcast, she ignored the looks of panic on their face. One jogged over to her and placed a firm grip on her upper arm. With a glance from the man holding the radio he began to walk faster. She tried to pull back, to dig her heels into the ground. Jess gritted her teeth.

2

The ground shook heavily. That blue sky with a wonderfully rising sun turned into a mixture of fiery, hellish colors. Everyone stood still in shock and horror. A loud series of crashes that sounded like thunder went off in the distance. Then a mushroom cloud of smoke blocked their view of the sky, settling the world in a hazy fog. It might’ve looked like fog, but the effects it had showed how dangerous this was. A rush of heat was brought with it that felt like it was melting her skin off. It made her retinas burn and the back of her throat dry. 

She ran. While the Peggies screamed in pain she got the fuck out of there. She could already see the bunker to the Whitetail Militia, there were no gunshots. Only howls of agony as they felt the heat descend upon them. And she could feel it to. 

When she brought her hands down to knock against the door in the agreed pattern she saw blood on her knuckles. 

Jess was yanked in fast. The cool air underground did little to relieve the burns that covered her body. She writhed in pain as people barked orders to care for her. She was passed out before anyone could ask what the hell was happening.2

————-

Every step she made him take was agonizing. The wasteland was brutal to walk on. John was always tripping over debris. And that was when his legs were working probably. Now with his feet screwed up, maybe broken, he could barely hold himself up. But he was partially to blame for their lob walk. A few days ago he had convinced her to take him back to Dutch’s bunker. Promising how she’d get to meet his brothers personally. 

He’d kill her before that. John saw what this woman was capable of and didn’t need Joseph trying to save her. Joseph was a merciful man and one day that might be his downfall. 

So In his back pocket he had a sharpened rock that he spent the past two days searing down into a fine point. When they got close to Dutch’s bunker he’d jab the thing in her jugular. He couldn’t do it now, seeing as she was the only reason why he wasn't collapsing. Unless he wanted to crawl the rest of the trip then he would have to wait.

Except the world didn’t grant him such mercies. Before he could process what was happening the atmosphere shifted into what could only be described as Hell. Never ending pain so fierce it made you want to die. 

Out of instinct he lodged the item deep into her neck, pushing away her grasping hands when she fell, making an awful gurgling noise. 

Now on hands and knees he crawled the last few feet. He prayed that someone would forget to lock it this one time. 

John moved quicker when he felt his skin blister, the clothes his was wearing was beginning to singe. His hands came up to yank on the bunker doors, he didn’t get time to. They swung up forcefully, someone was tossing him down the steps and closing the door just as quickly. 

He made out the flash of long dark hair and deep brown eyes. If not for the pain, then he would of gladly smothered Ryleigh with his affection and thanks. 

——————

Joseph sat in an uncomfortable metal chair. Eyeing the radio. The Voice spoke to him and he realized what will occur soon. That the events about to take place where to punish him for his sins and his sins alone. And for that he needed to issue a warning. To apologize to his loyal children. Because if he didn’t commit such a heinous sin then they wouldn’t have to suffer along with him. God was making his flock pay as well. 

“My children, I must let all of you know that In moments where I’m all by myself, when I’ve committed many errors based upon my family, I began to doubt our purpose. You’ve all done such a wonderful job and I, your father, have made a grave mistake. I’ve done something no father ever should. I have abandoned my brother. My own family. I casted him out when he was needing most. And in this time with Jacob gone for a moment, I have had time to reflect. In these reflections came doubt for God. I almost didn’t believe, I questioned what he was doing. Don’t you worry, for I’ve atoned for my sins. I asked him to bring my family home to me. The new world won’t begin unless they are by my side. But the price I must pay for this to become a reality will decimate the world outside once again. Even more so than the first time. Don’t fear when God rains fire upon the land. It is my punishment for ever doubting him and the only thing that will bring my brothers to me. Please, I beg of everyone to seek shelter and find it in your heart to forgive me. When I speak to you next I’ll be presenting you with both of my heralds standing proudly by my side.”


	35. Chapter 35

Joseph stood back to watch his family work. Only moving if it was to react to Jacob’s demands. Ryleigh looked frenzied while caring for John, running around with a wild look. When she walked by, Joseph placed a hand on her shoulder and drew her closer to place their foreheads together. 

“Ryleigh for fucks sake, hurry up I need that water!” 

She broke away from his grasp to run into the other room. He followed slowly, grimacing at the sight of his younger brother. Jacob was hunched over him, smearing on antibiotic ointment. He held a bottle of ibuprofen in one hand while the other scrambled for gauze wrap. Ryleigh pushed a large bucket of ice water on a side table and pulled out two large sponges. 

“Joe, c'mere, help us.” Jacob didn’t wait for Joseph to grab onto the sponge before he started giving instructions. “Be careful with the blisters, we don’t want them to burst, it’ll lead to infection.” They both set to work, going slowly so not to agitate his skin. 

Joseph’s eyes roamed over John's body. There was a scattering of blisters ranging in size. The burns looked shiny, almost reflective. And the coloring of his skin was all wrong, two or three shades of different hues. John’s hand moved to grasp at Jacob’s arm to stop his movement. His eyes were wide, already spilling with tears. Jacob motioned for Joseph and Ryleigh to stop. 

Jacob leaned forward to cup John’s head. “Hey, calm down John, don’t worry. You’re going to be fine.” Jacobs voice was soft, almost cooing. 

“It hurts. Oh god. What the fuck? Jacob? Fuck me, make it stop.” 

“I’m trying Johnny. We’re making it better. Don’t worry. Just try to hold still for us.” John nodded fervently and let Jacob break away. 

Joseph stepped off the bed to let Ryleigh sponge John and for Jacob to start bandaging him. He went to the kitchen to get his younger brother some food. Jacob’s voice called out to him as he was rustling around the cabinets. “No solids!” Joseph hummed under his breath while he heated up broth. He raised his head up, the barest of smiles on his lips. The lord forgave him for his sin of sloth and gave him his family back. All was okay. 

There was that aching pain around the words ‘sloth’ on the right side of his chest, near his arm, from where he atoned. Cuts from a knife lined below the words. Looking like he underlined it. 

When he went into the room again, Ryleigh sat next to John, pushing down his shoulders while he writhed on the bed. Tears were making its way down his face, he let out whimpers through clenched teeth. Joseph cradled the bowl of soup and stood in the doorway, walking forward when he saw Jacob finish treating John’s burns. 

He handed the soup to Jacob and stood against the wall to watch. The whole thing felt surreal. Having them with him again. His mind was still spinning, wanting to hold them close, tell them the plans that were coming in the near future. Instead, he’d savor this moment. Even if it meant having to watch John pant from the pain he felt. 

Ryleigh stood up, she had her eyes on Joseph for a while. Before John got down here he was lingering so close to her and Jacob. Running hands over their faces and looking totally out of it. Not seeming to be the observant man that he usually was, he didn’t pick up on the distance that was between Jacob and her. And if he did realize, he never asked about it. Now he was the same way, he had a glazed over expression that was starting to worry her. 

She took his hand and walked them both to his room. He followed gladly, once again pushing their heads together, keeping his eyes open on her. He finally pulled away to press a kiss on her forehead. Lingering down to her cheek, the tip of her nose and hesitated at her lips. She was the one to grab hold of his shoulders to close the distance. The soft sigh he let out made her heart flutter nervously. Joseph leaned in to wrap her in a tight hug, chin resting on the top of her head. 

“Are you okay Joseph? Feeling fine?” He didn’t answer her, only hummed softly. Yea, he lost it. Maybe not forever, he’d probably even out eventually, but right now he wasn’t thinking straight. Meaning that the competent ones in this bunker was her and Jacob. 

Y’know, the man who manipulated her for months, even when they were in the bunker. She couldn’t trust him like she wanted to. He used her as a tool when it suited him most, but was there for her in the next minute to provide comfort. She didn’t understand him. She especially didn’t understand how she could still want him to hold her. Maybe that’s why he had no problem screwing her over, he knew how loyal she was.

Slowly she let go of Joseph, giving him a parting kiss and telling him to get some sleep. He had a grateful smile on his face when she told him that she could take care of John for the time being. 

With hands tight at her side she went searching for Jacob. He was leaning in the doorway, staring at John, she could see the steady breaths that indicated him sleeping. Ryleigh put herself in Jacob’s periphery. He didn’t shift so he couldn’t see her, he wasn’t childish, but he didn’t say anything either. She’d been through hell by his hands and the man had the audacity to say nothing. The sudden flow of anger had her grabbing at his army jacket, swinging him around to face her. Her open palm came down to slap him. Jacob grabbed her wrist easily, an amused glint in his eyes when he saw her get angrier.

“You’re an asshole, Seed.” He chuckled, tightening his hold. 

“Am I now? Thought you already knew that pup. Didn’t your resistance buddies fill your ears with horror stories about me? And what..now you’re shocked that you’re learning about it first hand?”

“Jacob. We could’ve been friends, maybe co-existed, make our time down her a lot more pleasant. Then you go fuck it up. Because apparently you don’t know a thing about kindness or intimacy, I bet you see that as weak.”

“Sometimes it is honey.” He finally let go of her hand. His arms crossed over his chest and he didn’t even flinch when she took a step forward. Of course not, she was a whole foot shorter than him and had none of his muscles. “Having kindness can help, but normally, Mother Nature doesn’t give a damn about your kindness. Grow up Ryleigh.”

She stopped her footsteps when her chest was only a few inches from brushing against his scarred arms. “I’m willing to bet that you’d make a really terrible father, just like your old man. And I’m guessing John and Joseph have nothing but nightmares from the time you took care of them, cause you don’t know what it means to be nice. You don’t know how far it can go.”

He dragged her to the floor. Hands curling in her greasy hair and pulling until she was forced on her stomach. That knife that was always strapped to his thigh was at her neck while he yanked her head back, baring her throat to him. His entire weight was pushing onto her. “Sweetheart, you better watch your mouth. You don’t know a damn thing about my family. You think you don’t like me now? Just you wait, I have the power to reign down hell upon you. I could make you begging for my forgiveness. Did you already forget that I own you?” The blade pressed deeper on her neck. “Your mind belongs to me. I can be a lot more mean. You’re upset the I used you as a soldier, that I played that damn song, but that was for the benefit of all of us. I was making sure we’d live. I never would do anything so selfish if it meant your death. If you went along with it, If John didn’t fuck it up, then you would of been fine.” 

Jacob swung off of her to grab onto her upper arms, he lifted the both of them off the floor, promptly shoving her back to the wall. He crowded her space, a soft smile showing. “And if you just listened then John wouldn’t of gotten burnt, Joseph wouldn’t be in a comatose state, and I guess the world wouldn’t have exploded into fire according to whatever Joseph was rambling on about. I said it before, maybe you’ll listen this time when I tell you that everyone you encounter turns out worse. You need me honey, you need someone to direct you before you ruin everyone’s lives further.”

He stormed off, slipping the blade back in its holster. Ryleigh was shaking. All that shit she said was out of anger, she wasn’t sure she meant it. But he definitely had no problem voicing how he truly felt about her. He didn’t outright say that she wasn’t useful, that she was a tool that no longer has a purpose, he did say that she couldn’t take care of herself. That her independent decisions fucked everyone over. She carded her fingers through her tender scalp. 

A shower. That’s what she needed. Some taste of normalcy.


	36. Chapter 36

Ryleigh pressed her forearms against the cool tile of the bathroom stall. The water was warm, offering up some sort of comfort. The healing open wounds that John had torn from her body stung, keeping her fully aware when all she wanted was to be out of her mind for a few minutes. But her thoughts kept spinning, working overtime. Trying to wrap around the mystery that was Jacob. A type of fear came with speaking to Jacob after he held a knife to her throat. Making amends so early wouldn’t be simple. 

A chill ran through her body as the water was beginning to run cold. She turned to get out. Her muscles were sore.

Wrapping a towel around her, she walked out to go check in on John. She saw the way his eyes flickered around, when they met her gaze he called out for her, a smile tugging on his lips. Ryleigh obliged, sitting at the edge of his bed to press her damp hand to his forehead. He blew out a soft breath, gripping onto her wrist. 

She wanted to ask what he saw or how he was doing. But seeing the pain on his face made her think otherwise. Especially that one time when Joseph asked how the world looked, he wanted a play by play even as his brother was screaming in agony. She wouldn’t push those limits. 

So she sat, letting him take the cold water droplets from the shower she just took. Her eyes roamed to where an empty soup bowl sat. Ryleigh stood abruptly, opting to play as caretaker and going to get more food for John. As well as cold washcloths seeing how he whined when she pulled away. 

When she walked into the kitchen she found Joseph already preparing food for John, he turned before he could see the pointed glare she gave him. “I told you I could take care of John.” He only shrugged. 

Joseph held the bowl of soup tightly, “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t take care of my loved ones? Plus John and I need to talk, he needs to understand that there are no hard feelings between us. That he is forgiven, that the Gates of Eden are still open for him.” She gaped as he walked away. Would John be that quick to forget? 

Apparently he would be, she stood in the doorway, watching their interaction. Heads pressed together. John’s saddened expression which dissolved into tears. To Joseph’s credit he did hold John close and let him cry. A stab of envy jolted through her. They had each other, and she had to somehow assimilate into their lives. So long as she did that then everything should be okay. 

A hand clasped down on her shoulder. Ryleigh knew it was Jacob, the reason she turned around though was the overwhelming smell of alcohol clinging to his skin. He didn’t seem the type to drink. Maybe it was something he enjoyed in his past. They weren’t always in a super religious cult with strict rules. They were normal people with normal urges and problems. 

She drew in a sharp breath when he spun her around to face him. He wasn’t hammered, just tipsy. Able to stand on his feet without swaying too much. His brow was pinched lightly, “We’ve got a problem, I gotta talk to you.” He dragged her to his room, letting her hover at the entrance when he crashed down on his chair. A smile appeared on his lips at her uneasiness. “Calm down little sheep. It’s just some shit Joseph said, he’s busy, so I’m telling you.” He patted the bed to indicate she should sit. Which she did promptly, hands folded in her lap. 

He caught her nervous expression and grimaced. For a second she imagined that they might say sorry about what happened earlier. How he pinned her down and almost slit her throat. Of course not, he wasn’t the one in the wrong. She started it. 

“Joseph said that we’re going to need a new Faith. Hey, I see that look you’re giving me and no, it isn’t you, calm down. Joe will handle that somehow, he didn’t go into details. That’s his job for now. Everyone gets a job.” His head fell back, eyes closed. “John’s healing, there isn’t much he can do, but when he feels up to it he’ll start reaching out to people that aren’t apart of Eden’s Gate, convince them to join. Some of your resistance people, convert them. He’ll take confessions over the radio too.”

His adams apple bobbed harshly when he swallowed. The muscles in his back tense. “I need to work on rations, making lists, organizing us.” He turned to face her, smiling. “Then there’s you. Now what are we going to do with you? You’re not weak, far from it. You fought your way to the top and you’ve survived hell. I’m guessing you’ll just bounce between the three of us, go wherever you’re needed. I don’t know. Just keep in mind what I said. Be careful, don’t ruin anyone else’s life.” There was a jovial tone In his voice. But that might’ve been the alcohol. 

She bit her tongue. There’s no way he was insinuating that her friend’s deaths were her fault. He was always full of surprises though, so it wouldn’t shock her. 

“John and Joseph love you, they’d forgive you in a heartbeat you know. Don’t abuse that.”

“I care about you. Your brothers too. You’re just too stubborn to realize it sometimes.”

“Mhm.” This man was insufferable. She didn’t exactly pour her heart out. But anything would be better than the response he gave her. She could only imagine the long essay Joseph would of given her in return as a comparison. 

“Can I tell you my name Jacob?”

“What?”

“Let’s start over and I’ll give you my name.” His eyebrow twitched, head cocked to the side. Surely he remembered their first day in the bunker. How he extended an olive branch to try and make their lives easier. It was a kind gesture. One that eventually didn’t mean shit because of how he screwed her over. 

Jacob examined her face. Arms crossed over his chest. When he didn’t shoot down her idea she took that as a yes. A smile curled on her lips. The ex deputy leaned forward extending her arm for a handshake. 

“Ryleigh.”


	37. Chapter 37

In the span of four weeks Ryleigh had the most productive time in the bunker. She helped wherever she felt like she was needed, never given a specific task. 

Her mornings were always spent looking after John. She made it a priority to make sure he recovered. The strength he had was taken from the hellish experience he had outside. His skin was starting to scar and his legs were crushed. He couldn’t stand on his own, it did awful things to his mindset. 

You see, John was the type of man who was independent, he liked control. And he knew he was too weak to do anything for himself. For the first two weeks she was the one who helped him walk to and from the bathroom and helped him to stand in the shower, neither of which pleased him.These morning activities gave her some respite from having to think about all the bad shit that was happening. 

The afternoons were entirely dedicated to Joseph. He was always on the radio. Delivering sermons, working closely with a few Peggies who they thought would make a perfect Faith. It sickened her to think how they could replace someone so simply. But she sat by his side and obediently jotted anything down that seemed important. Even if her work was lackluster, he still would beam at her when she handed him her days work. She recorded radio frequencies, names, dates, parts of conversations. It was nice to have something that forced her to focus. Something that sharpened her mind when she had nothing else to entertain her.

Jacob was always saved for last. Whenever she was done with John and Joseph, she would go find Jacob. Most of the time she’d get there too late to help. He could only organize things for so long. He made lists, rearranged the bunker to be more tidy, divided out rations, placing him in charge of preparing meals instead of Joseph. For the first two weeks she didn’t have to help Jacob at all. She was too busy helping John in the morning then afterwards Joseph took up most of her time. But when John got better around the third week and no longer needed much attention, she had extra time on her hands. And she wanted to pull her weight, so begrudgingly she added finding Jacob to her routine. 

John and Joseph met at the same time, they both needed to the radio. Ryleigh would take notes for Joseph then promptly leave. John’s confessions were meant to be private after all. 

The first time she had to help Jacob she felt like she got in the way. He communicated with her, telling her to move certain things. So obviously she was the one at fault. She somehow found a way to screw up simple things. It was her nerves getting to her. 

He never yelled, just looked mildly displeased when she dropped something or stepped on his foot. He wanted things so perfect that it was starting to drive her crazy. 

Each day was the same when it came to him, she had the urge to tear her hair out after the first week of helping him. By the second she had officially been in back in the bunker for four weeks and Joseph had zeroed in on two people that could potentially be Faith, but told none of them until it they were sure of who it would be. 

John had taken enough confessions for his sleep pattern to be all sorts of fucked up. She almost felt bad, then remembered with a sinking clarity that he was trying to convert her friends. The Whitetail Militia his first priority seeing how that was the biggest threat. He hadn’t come to her to talk about it, he never brought it up either. And she was content to stay ignorant. 

Joseph pulled her aside one day before they started, eyes twinkling fondly. “Do you remember the story I told you about my wife and daughter? The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. We make sacrifices, He gives us tests, to show that we are worthy. That’s why he takes things away, so later on He can grant us something better, something He believes we deserve to have.” Ryleigh listened patiently, a blank expression on her face, too afraid to show any thoughts on what he was saying. After all, she wasn’t the most religious. 

“The Lord gave me my brothers. Now He must take something away in order to know that I am still loyal. I prayed for guidance and wisdom. And it came to me.” He brought her to his chest. His lips brushed the top of her hair, lovingly stroking her back. “He’s asking me to make a decision. I’ve chosen for you to go until He sees fit and eventually He will giveth. Even if it’s rough and we don’t feel ready, it’s a test that we must try to prevail. Don’t worry Ryleigh, have faith, trust me.”

Her muscles ripples underneath the surface with the overwhelming urge to punch him. Did he hear himself? How illogical he sounded. 

The hold he had on her tightened, his fingers moved to press under her jaw. Her arms were by her side, rendering her immobile. Her vision blotted out before she could make up her mind to push him off. “Stay calm. This is the cataclysm before Eden’s Gate becomes reality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the sequel: Too Much Time On Our Hands


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